Drunken Mistake?
by tutriceange
Summary: Alice is celebrating her thirtieth birthday, but she's in no mood to celebrate. What happens when she finds comfort, and more, from an old friend who happens to be engaged to her best friend? AH AU Written for "Off the Page" Contest. Rated M for lemon
1. Chapter 1

**Off The Page" Contest**

**Pen Name**: tutriceange**  
Title**: Drunken Mistake?  
**Book/Written Work**: "Something Borrowed" by Emily Giffin  
**Summary**: Alice is celebrating her thirtieth birthday at a party thrown for her by her best friend. However, she's not really in a celebratory mood. She finds comfort and more from an old friend who also happens to be engaged to her best friend.  
**Word Count**: 4179

**For Rules and Other Submissions, please visit**: http://www(DOT)fanfiction(DOT)net/u/1981556/

A/N: Hello everyone! I'm writing this story in response to the "Off the Page" contest. I really loved the book this is loosely based off of and I suggest you read it. Emily Giffin is absolutely amazing! This is a Jasper/Alice fic and I really hope you all like it. Don't forget to review!

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Alice Brandon stared up at the bar where her best friend Rosalie was dancing on top of. Alice had known Rosalie all her life and they've been best friends since Kindergarten. They've been practically inseparable ever since. They went to the same grade school, the same high school, and the same area for college.

Alice sighed, taking another sip of her Cosmo. It was already her fifth, but who was she to care? She was supposed to be celebrating—and she was using that term loosely.

_My thirtieth birthday. Awesome. Some fucking milestone. I'm thirty, single, have only a few close friends, oh, and I'm alone. What a life._ Alice thought sarcastically before downing the rest of her drink. She signaled to the bartender to get her another one.

Alice glanced around at all the people at her party. She knew three people: Rosalie, Jasper, and Jasper's best friend, Mike. Her other really good friends, Bella and Edward, weren't able to make it. The rest of the people, about one hundred or so, were here for Rosalie. She always loved—needed to be the center of attention, which is why she planned this enormous party. It was just another chance for her to have all eyes on her. _No, I shouldn't be thinking that way about her; I've let her get away with it since we were kids. It's my own fault she acts like this all the time._

Alice sighed and began playing with the straw she placed in her drink. Rosalie had always been drop dead gorgeous and had guys fawning over her all the time. Alice was always just Rosalie's plain friend Alice. No guy ever paid attention to her with Rosalie around. That's why she wasn't shocked when Jasper ended up asking Rosalie out shortly after meeting her.

Jasper was Alice's best friend in college. They both went to a media college, majoring in art. She was more into watercolors and sketches, whereas Jasper was into full out paintings and portraits. They had a lot of classes together and ended up doing a lot of studying together.

However, Alice was used to people, guys in particular, passing her over so they could be with Rosalie. That's the reason she finally let Rosalie meet Jasper. Alice hadn't wanted Rosalie to meet Jasper because she liked having one thing to herself—something she didn't have to share with Rosalie or give up to her. Rosalie ended up persuading Alice to meet Jasper and a few weeks later, the inevitable happened, Jasper asked Rosalie out on a date. They looked like the perfect couple, Rosalie with her tanned skin, blonde hair, and hazel eyes, and Jasper with his tall, pale body, with deep blue eyes surrounded by a mane of blonde hair.

_There's no use dwelling on it. If you wanted something to happen with Jasper, you should have made a move before you introduced him to Rosalie. Although, then it would have hurt worse when he finally did meet Rosalie. He would have ended up leaving you for her. They always do. You did yourself a favor, _Alice mentally fought with herself. _Besides, even if I had done something, it's not like he would have chosen me. I'm way too short and have an awkward shade of green eyes—somewhere between brown and green. I also have short, spiked black hair that never seems to fall right. Oh, and I don't have any type of curves or a toned body. There's no way I could have ever competed with Rosalie. _

Alice groaned and took another sip of her drink. This was really turning into a horrible night.

"Alice," Rosalie slurred as she threw her arms around Alice. Alice put her arms around Rosalie but said nothing, knowing Rosalie was still going to still talk. "Alice, I can't believe you're thirty! You're fucking thirty! You're getting so old…and you're still single." Rosalie took her arms away from Alice and slumped awkwardly into a barstool next to Alice. "I'm so glad I don't have to worry about turning thirty for a few more months! It's so nice to still be able to say I'm in my twenties, have a stable job, and the most amazing fiancé ever!"

Alice grimaced. "Yeah, you're so lucky you have everything all figured out." _God damn it! Could Rosalie be any more fucking conceited? Thanks for making me feel like shit and rubbing your fucking perfect life in my face._ Alice didn't say anything more to Rosalie, afraid that she would crack if she spoke one more word. Rosalie always had a knack for turning everything around until it's about her. And she always likes to subtly, and not so subtly, point out all of Alice's faults and the way her life was better than Alice's. Alice's eyes teared up on their own accord as Rosalie's words truly sunk in. Alice hadn't been extremely happy tonight, but having your so called best friend make you feel like shit doesn't help brighten your mood.

Alice drained her drink before setting it back on the counter. Rosalie had already wandered off to find someone else to talk to. Alice quickly walked outside and lowered herself onto the ground. She pulled her knees to her chest and cried.

Alice wasn't sure how long she cried for, but she heard familiar voices which brought her out of her trance.

"Jasper, I don't want to leave," Rosalie whined. "You always ruin all my fun!" Rosalie pouted. _This is so stupid. I orchestrated the entire party and now my fiancé wants to kick me out? Because I'm too drunk? That is such crap,_ Rosalie thought to herself.

Jasper sighed. He hated when Rosalie always acted like this. "Rosalie, just get in the cab and go home. You're completely trashed."

Rosalie glared at him. "I can be drunk if I want to. It's my fucking party!" Rosalie all but screamed at him.

Jasper stared at her. He always knew Rosalie was self-centered, but she was always more so when she was drunk. "Rosalie," he started sternly. "This is not your party. It's Alice's birthday party. Do not make this all about you. Have you even talked to her at all tonight? Or have you been too absorbed in your own wants that you completely neglected your friend at her birthday party?" Jasper questioned.

Alice watched from her position on the ground, her mouth hanging open in shock. _Jasper just defended me against Rosalie. Holy shit. _

Rosalie stared at Jasper. "I have talked to my best friend, thank you very much. And she was completely enjoying herself." With that, she just huffed and got into the cab. "Don't bother coming home tonight," Rosalie yelled right before the cab rode away.

Jasper ran his hands through his hair, a sign of his frustration. He'd been doing that as long as he could remember. Jasper growled in frustration before turning around and walking inside. However, he turned his head and his eyes locked on Alice.

"Alice?" Jasper asked as he quickly made his way to her. _My God, she's shivering,_ he thought as he pulled off his jacket. He gently wrapped the jacket around Alice, hoping to warm her up. "How long have you been out here?"

Alice looked up at him and he had to fight the urge to wipe the tears from her face. Her cheeks were tearstained and her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. He wanted to know what had upset her so much and make it go away.

"I'm not entirely sure," Alice said quietly with a confused expression on her face. _How long have I been out here? Well, I guess I came out here after Rosalie made me feel like shit._

Jasper looked at her, concern radiating off him. He's always cared for Alice, probably more than he should, but he couldn't help it. Alice has always been a soft spot for him. "Alice," he said softly, "What's wrong?"

Alice couldn't stop the hysterical laugh that bubbled from within her. "Wrong? Is there anything right?" Jasper looked confused and slightly unnerved at her reaction. Alice continued, "Let's see. I'm thirty, single and alone. I'm stuck at a dead end job where I'm not even able to do what I love to do. There's this party for me where I know almost no one. Oh yeah, and my best friend told me that I'm old and single and that her life is so much better than mine. Oh, and she also made tonight all about her. I shouldn't be surprised—it's always about Rosalie," Alice finished her rant, but didn't look back at Jasper. She's just insulted his fiancé for God's sake.

Jasper surprised Alice by sitting down next to her and pulling her into a hug. "Alice, I'm so sorry," he whispered gently. He hated seeing Alice upset. She's always been strong, so it's almost scary to see her break down.

At Jasper's words and actions, Alice let the rest of her defenses fall. She threw her arms around his neck and cried into his chest. She cried for everything. It reminded her of past times, back in college. They used to stay up studying together and eventually Alice would fall asleep against Jasper. Whenever she woke up, she'd be positioned more comfortably with his arms around her. It was at those times, these times, she felt like he could feel something more than just friendship toward her.

Jasper whispered words of comfort to her, gently rubbing her back. "Alice, do you want me to take you home?"

Alice nodded against him and pulled herself away. She wiped at her eyes and tried to calm herself down. Crying was useless—it didn't help anything. She got up and faced Jasper who had already gotten up. She gave him a half-hearted smile. "Sorry for losing it, Jasper. But thanks for listening." Alice sighed, "I'm just going to go back home and have a night in."

Alice walked away and began trying to hail a cab while Jasper just watched her. She got one to stop and opened the door. Before getting in, she turned to Jasper and said, "Thanks again, Jasper. It means a lot to me that you were there for me tonight."

Jasper crossed to her in two steps and grabbed her wrist gently. "I can't honestly let you go alone. It's your birthday; you shouldn't have to be by yourself." He slid into the cab next to her and took her hand. He told the driver where Alice's apartment was and then remained quiet as the driver took off.

Alice was just staring at Jasper, unsure what to think. She was incredibly glad that he was coming with her, but another part of her was nervous. She wasn't sure what to expect. They hadn't really been close in a while—not since Rosalie sunk her claws in him. _Alice, stop thinking like that. She's your best friend. _However, it was true. Rosalie hated that they were close so she subtly tried to pry them apart. _I noticed but I doubt Jasper did. Guys tend to wear blinders when it comes to Rosalie. They never saw her faults; they were overwhelmed by her beauty. Like that would ever happen to me._

Jasper watched Alice the whole cab ride. She looked back at him, but would look away. Her face and eyes looked confused and troubled. He took their intertwined hands and brought them to his lap, gently closing his free hand over them. He wanted her to feel protected, safe. It reminded him of the times of when it was just the two of them.

Once they reached Alice's apartment, Jasper got out first and paid the driver. Alice started to complain, but he just took her hand and led her up to her apartment.

Alice just followed Jasper like a puppy. She let him lead her wherever he wanted. In her mind, she pretended she was back in college and she and Jasper were just going to hang out.

They walked inside Alice's apartment and she locked it behind her. She hates leaving the door unlocked, especially since she lives alone and in New York City.

Jasper walked up to Alice and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. "Happy Birthday, Alice," he whispered gently to her.

Alice wrapped her arms around his waist and melted into him. He always had a way of calming her down. She smiled into him when he said that. "Thanks, Jasper." This was the only birthday wish she was truly thankful for; it was the only one that seemed genuine.

Alice tried to pull away, but he only tightened his grip around her. He lowered his head to her hair, breathing in her scent. He sighed, "I miss this…us," he said softly.

Alice clung to him, trying to show him how much she missed him too. "I wish things would have turned out differently," Alice whispered so quietly, Jasper had to strain to hear her.

_You have no idea how often I've thought of that, _Jasper thought sadly to himself. Without thinking, he leaned down and kissed her cheek.

Alice looked up at him and her gorgeous green eyes bore into him. He couldn't stop himself; he leaned down, gingerly touching his lips to hers. _Holy shit. I'm kissing Alice._ He didn't allow himself to think about it much more than that; he didn't want to feel guilty—not now, not yet. He had wanted this for so long.

He placed a hand on her cheek, gently caressing it as he pressed his lips on hers. She tasted amazing and he felt intoxicated from her. He pressed a hand to the small of her back, pushing her closer to him.

Alice wrapped her arms tighter around him. She ran her tongue along his lower lip and felt him groan as he opened his mouth for her. Tasting him was absolutely amazing. She pushed her tongue further into his mouth; she wanted him. All of him.

Jasper moaned when she began to kiss him more passionately. He was rock hark, just from kissing her. _Fuck, I want her._ Jasper pulled his coat off Alice's slender body while Alice fumbled with his shirt. He had to smile at her. She was trying to get his shirt off without moving away from him.

Alice finally got his shirt off and stared at his bare chest. _Oh my God._ Alice ran her hands up and down his arms as she took in his muscular arms, chiseled chest, and toned abs. She's seen him without a shirt before, but never had a chance to…appreciate it. She lightly trailed her fingers down his chest until they reached his waistband. She smiled as she felt him shiver under her touch.

She brought her eyes back to his and saw the lust, passion, and desire burning in his eyes. She reached up to him, taking his lips firmly with hers. He moaned into her mouth as his hands roamed her body. She shuddered with delight at the feel of those slender fingers.

Jasper trailed his hands up her back, feeling for the zipper of her dress. He gripped it and pulled it down, never breaking their kiss. Her lips were so warm, so soft, so full; they molded perfectly against his own. He gently brought his hands up to her shoulders, pushing the straps of her dress down. The dress fell to her ankles and she had to break away from him to step out of it.

Jasper's breath caught in his throat when he saw her standing before him._ So fucking sexy_, he thought greedily. Her full breasts barely contained in her lacy black bra and she was wearing panties that barely covered her. He didn't just want her anymore; he needed her.

He launched himself at her, capturing her lips in a fiery kiss. Alice greedily clung to him, forcing their bodies, mouths closer.

Jasper broke away from her mouth and trailed kisses along her jaw and neck. He heard her moan and his erection grew even harder. Alice must have felt it because she was tugging on his belt and pants, yanking them down.

Jasper neatly stepped out of them before leaving trails of kisses over Alice, anywhere he could reach. He moaned when Alice's little hand went into his boxers and gripped him, hard. She had a tight grip on him but she stroked slowly, painfully slowly. He whimpered and began pushing her towards the bed.

Alice realized what Jasper was doing and flipped their positions—she was now pushing him toward the bed. He had stopped kissing her and was gazing into her eyes when his knees reached the edge of the bed. She gave him a hard push and watched as he fell down onto the bed. She nearly dove on top of him, peppering his chest, neck, and jaw with kisses. She attacked his mouth again and straddled him, placing one knee on each side of him.

Jasper groaned into her mouth when he felt Alice's warmth settling on his erection. He shifted his hips, creating friction and heard Alice take a quick intake of breath. He continued bucking his hips, enjoying the feeling as much as Alice. He trailed his hands onto her back, finding her bra clasp. He successfully undid it and pulled her bra off, discarding it near the other pile of clothes.

Jasper broke away from the kiss so he could take in Alice's body. His hands gently grazed over her breaths, causing Alice to sigh. He palmed her breasts, kneading them gently. He rubbed his thumbs over her nipples and felt himself moan at Alice's reaction. Her eyes fluttered closed and gasped in surprise before moaning and allowing her head to fall back.

Alice couldn't stop, nor did she want to stop the euphoria she was feeling. Jasper was still fondling her breasts while sliding his hips, causing him to constantly be rubbing against her clit. The mixture of the two was unbelievably arousing. _Fucking Christ, those hands…his hands,_ Alice thought as Jasper pinched and rubbed her nipples. At that moment, she lost all control. She reared down, capturing his lips with hers. She pressed her bare chest against his and laced her hands in her hair, trying to pull their bodies and mouths closer.

Jasper let out a deep throaty moan when he felt Alice shift over him, causing her to press down harder on him. She was moving slowly but he could feel her heat and wetness through her panties; that was driving him wild. In a swift motion, he reversed their positions. He tore his lips from her mouth greedily tasting the rest of her body: neck, chest, stomach, and face. He lavishly placed opened mouth kisses on her breasts. He placed his mouth over her nipple and sucked on it.

Alice thrust her chest toward him, gently trying to urge his head closer. Jasper reached his hand down and ran his fingers along her heat before coming and rubbing her sensitive area. He sucked on her other breast as he continued to rub her clit.

Alice moaned and shuddered from immense pleasure. The combination of the two caused Jasper to moan and tear off her panties. Jasper moved his fingers down to her entrance and slowly slid one finger into her. She gasped and breathed out, "Jasper."

Jasper couldn't get enough of the woman in front of him, and his heart soared when she whispered his name. He slid another finger into her, pumping them both in and out. He trailed kisses down her stomach, wanting to give her as much pleasure as he could. He looked up at Alice. She was so fucking sexy but also stunningly beautiful. Her eyes were closed and her tongue ran across her bottom lips before biting down on that lip. Jasper lowered his mouth to her heat and began running his tongue all over her. He heard Alice moan his name and her breathing increase until she was panting. Her muscles tensed and the walls around his fingers condensed. Alice let out a strangled cry while saying his name again. Jasper pulled his fingers out of her and trailed kisses back to her neck.

Alice was still reeling from her orgasm. She's never had one like that before. It was time to return the favor. She reached one hand up to pull his face up to hers. She kissed him passionately while her free hand trailed down along his stomach. She reached into his boxers and wrapped her hand around him. She felt him stiffen as she started stroking him.

Jasper moaned into Alice's mouth as her little hand ran up and down his length. She started going faster and he felt his breathing quicken.

Alice kissed Jasper's neck and chest as she continued to stroke him. She heard a gasp come from Jasper and quickly stopped. She ran her tongue and mouth down his chest to his stomach. She placed kisses along his waistband and felt him shudder. She peeled his boxers from his body and took in the sight before her. Jasper was so fucking gorgeous and muscular. She started kissing lower as she reached her hand and held his erection in his hand. She ran her tongue along his length before taking him into her mouth. She heard Jasper groan as she moved her mouth up and down him, lightly trailing her teeth along him.

Jasper twitched in pleasure, unable to control his movements as he let Alice give him whatever she was willing to give him. He laced his fingers through her hair, gently running his hands through it. He felt his release beginning to rise, the pit of his stomach rolling as his breathing was a mix of groans, moans, panting, and "Alice's."

As quickly as she started, she stopped. She skimmed her body over his as she placed one lingering kiss below his ear. "I want you, Jasper," she whispered huskily.

That was all it took for Jasper to lose control. He flipped her over so he could hover over her. He hungrily pressed his lips to hers, wanting to taste everything he could. While they were kissing, Alice reached over to her nightstand and pulled out a condom.

Jasper broke away from Alice as he felt her touching his length. He felt her rolling on the condom and nearly moaned. He kissed her when she was done before asking, "Are you sure you want to do this?" _Please don't say no,_ he pleaded silently. Alice just nodded and smiled at him. Jasper gently eased into her, feeling her walls clamp down around him. He groaned and began thrusting into her.

Alice moaned as Jasper filed her. She felt herself begin building toward her climax as he thrust into her. She reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers. She needed that connection with him. She began thrusting her hips toward him so they would meet in the middle. She heard him moan her name and smiled in delight.

Jasper was half-blind out of pure bliss as he thrust harder into her. He brought his free hand to rub against her clit. Alice half-moaned, half-cried out as he rubbed faster. His own release was building and he wasn't sure how much longer he would last.

Alice's climax was fast approaching, her pants were whimpers now. Her stomach was clamping down and she felt all her muscles tightening. "Jasper!" She shrieked as she reached her peak.

Jasper moaned as he felt Alice's walls clamp down tighter around him. Between that, how close he was, and Alice constantly saying his name, he was a goner. With a strangled, "Alice," he let himself go. He rode out his orgasm, enjoying how amazing it was. He splayed his body over Alice's, his ear pressed against her chest so he could hear her heart beating erratically, much like his own.

Alice smiled and ran her fingers through Jasper's hair, willing this moment to last forever. But, of course, all good things must come to an end.

Jasper sat up and went to discard the used condom and wash up. He came back and saw Alice curled up on her side with her eyes closed. He knew what just happened was wrong, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He crawled into bed with Alice, pulling the blankets over them. Alice hadn't surfaced, so he assumed she was spent. He snuggled next to her, molding his body around hers. He draped an arm tightly across her waist. He didn't want to face tomorrow. He wanted to stay right here, with Alice, forever. With that thought, he followed her into sleep.

Alice surfaced the next morning around eight, which was unusually early for her. She noticed Jasper in bed with her, his arms around her protectively. She saw all the discarded clothes and condom wrapper and felt her stomach drop.

_What have I done?__A/N: Please review my story and tell me what you think! I love hearing from people who read my stories! Also, if you liked my story a lot, please go to the website listed at the beginning and vote for it when voting starts! I would really appreciate it! :)_

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	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey! So, I know it's been a while, but I promise you, I have been writing. I write every chance I get, but it's finding the time to type it all up and edit it that's the problem. I'm going to try and update at least once a month because I really like this story and I don't want you guys giving up on it because I'm taking too long!

As it says in the first chapter, this story is loosely based off of "Something Borrowed" by Emily Giffen. But I am trying to do a lot of things differently. Hopefully, for any of you who have read that book, you will like the different things I am going to be changing.

Thanks again for all the support! I never expected this story to get so many reviews--especially as a one-shot! You guys are the best!

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Alice's hands were trembling as she wrapped a sheet around her, taking in the scene before her. Jasper was sprawled out on her bed. Naked. _Jasper_—as in her best friend's fiancé Jasper. _I am so screwed._ She pulled the sheet tighter around herself, as though it would cut off any memory of last night. Of the night that _never _should have happened.

Before Alice could even think about how to handle this situation, Jasper's phone started ringing. Alice sat there shaking, her guilt making her sick. She glanced around, afraid someone was going to pop out and scream "Whore!" It's what she felt like; she was the worst friend ever.

Jasper groaned and fumbled around for his phone. "Hello?" Hi sighed as he listened to the person on the other line. He rolled onto his back, throwing an arm over his eyes.

Alice sat there, her legs curled to her chest. She assumed it was Rosalie and her guilt became even worse. _She's probably worried about him because he didn't go home last night. Because he was with me._ Alice groaned and rested her head on her knees. _Slut. Whore. Bitch. _Her mind was screaming at her.

"You're the one who told me not to come home, Rosalie. Remember that? Or were you too drunk to remember?" Jasper yelled into the phone. He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated with her. He didn't mean to be so harsh with her, but she was driving him insane. She'd say one thing and mean another. He wasn't a mind reader.

He listened to her rant, not really paying attention. He just wanted to curl up with Alice and forget about everything else for a while. "I'll be home later and we can talk about it then. I have nothing to say to you right now." He clicked his phone shut and turned to face Alice. "Good morning," he said quietly.

Alice had gotten up during their conversation and wrapped a robe around herself. She couldn't be sitting there, naked, next to him when he addressed her. This…separation made it seem less real. She was covered now; almost as though the act of covering herself covered her sin.

She didn't meet Jasper's eyes. "Morning." She started picking up their clothes. She placed hers in a pile and gently folded his clothes, setting them on the edge of her bed. She couldn't look at him, her guilt too much. But her hands yearned to secure themselves around him. She wanted him to hold her close, tell her everything would be alright. But he wasn't hers to have, to hold; he was _hers—Rosalie's. _

Jasper watched her, feeling his heart break at the distance. He knew she was trying to be normal—as normal as she could given the current situation. Last night was the closest they'd ever been. Even just talking at her party, was the closest they'd been in a long time. He hated not being close to her anymore; she was his best friend. He hated knowing that _he_ was the reason for everything: her distance, unhappiness, and loneliness. And now, she was going to distance herself even more form him.

"You should get going; Rosalie's waiting for you," Alice whispered out as she handed him his clothes. "You can get ready in the bathroom." Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of him going back to Rosalie, but she refused to show him that. She was careful not to make any contact with his skin. She wasn't sure she could handle that.

Jasper heard the tears in her voice; tears she was crying because of him. He grabbed her wrist. "Ali…are we going to talk about this?" His tone forced her eyes to meet his. His eyes begged her to talk to him, let him in.

Alice pulled her arm from his grasp and he knew it was hopeless. "There's nothing to talk about. We made a mistake…a horrible mistake. We just have to forget about it and move on." Alice watched as Jasper's eyes flashed with pain.

"A mistake? Is that all you can think of it?" he asked angrily. He hadn't thought of it as a mistake. He loved being able to truly be with Alice. He'd wanted that since the first moment he saw her. He wanted her more after he'd gotten to know her. And not just for the sex; he'd always loved Alice. He did wish the circumstances were different, but that couldn't be helped.

Alice simply nodded. "Yes, Jasper, a mistake. You're engaged and to my best friend! I shouldn't have lost my mind," she said quietly as her heart cracked. She was well aware of her actions last night. It was true that she did drink a lot, but she was nowhere near wasted. She couldn't admit to Jasper how much she had wanted that to happen. It wasn't right.

Jasper snatched his clothes from Alice and walked into the bathroom, not even saying a word to her. Jasper dressed as he struggled to force his anger down. _I thought last night meant something. I thought she wanted it as much as I had,_ he thought sadly. He hastily tucked his shirt into his trousers, running his hands through his hair in a half-hearted attempt to calm it.

He glanced around her bathroom, for the first time fully aware that he'd never been to her apartment. It was just like her. A robin's egg blue tiled the floor with a matching molding at the top, where the walls meet the ceiling. Light, bright yellow accents made this room so much brighter, bubblier. _Just like Alice. Well…how she used to be,_ he thought sadly.

He took a deep breath, forcing his hurt and anger away. He could deal with all that later. He calmly walked out of the bathroom and towards the door. "Happy birthday, Alice. I'm sorry I ruined it for you." He briskly walked out the door, shutting it behind him.

Alice watched him walk out the door and out of her life. She hoped it wouldn't be forever, but she figured he would want nothing to do with the whore who could have possibly ruined his engagement. As much as she wanted to be with him, she knew she couldn't. Even if he wanted her. She wiped the few tears from her eyes as she made her way to the bathroom.

She stripped off her robe and jumped into the shower. As soon as the water hit her, her heart broke open, bleeding all over the shower floor. Her tears mixed with the water as she let herself fall apart. She crumbled to the floor, curling into herself as she let open wounds she never truly opened up before. She cried for herself and the lost chance at love she had. She cried about the life she wished she had instead of the life she has now. She cried for Jasper and how she wished he could see the real Rosalie. She even shed a few tears for Rosalie because she felt guilty about betraying her.

She wished that peace and calm would come from her tears, but she received none of that. She just felt shaky, sick, and tired. She sat on the shower floor, the water pouring over her like a judgmental rain.

When the water started getting cold, she decided it was time to get out. She was already shaking, getting sick on top of all this would wear her down even more.

She dried off and dressed in her comfiest sweat pants and threw on an old t-shirt. She curled up in bed and tried to ignore the scent that Jasper left behind as she cried herself to sleep, thinking of a life that might have been had she been braver way back when.

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Jasper was so angry he decided to walk the twenty blocks to his apartment. _More like Rosalie's apartment, since she got rid of anything I liked._

Jasper angrily kicked a pebble and watched as it bounced across the sidewalk. He was angry and hurt because of what Alice had said. She had called him a mistake. A mistake! He knew the way and circumstances were not ideal, but how could she think of him as a mistake.

It killed him to know that she felt that way about him now. He hated that she was ashamed of what they did. He knew that he should feel guilty or sorry, but he just couldn't find it in himself to regret it.

He had loved Alice for as long as he could remember. He remembered hearing her beautiful laugh that first day of classes. Her breathtaking smile, gorgeous green eyes, and pixie like features. She was the most beautiful woman in the world to him. As a male, his fantasies ran away with this girl, but then he started getting to know her and his feelings changed. He began to care about her—love her.

He enjoyed spending every spare minute with her. He tried numerous times to get the courage to ask her out, but he couldn't. He didn't see what a girl like her would want with a guy like him. She came from a pretty wealthy family from back in Seattle; they wouldn't approve of some hick from Texas. Even if he had resided in New York for more than ten years. Besides, she didn't seem to be all that interested in guys; she was extremely focused on her studies.

He did try to slip hints around, though. He'd let her sleep against him and then not leave her. They spent many nights together back in college. He was always asking her to places, romantic places, but she hardly ever would go. But he asked like a friend would. He never asked her to go out on a date.

He remembers the one night that had almost changed everything. He had walked her back to her dorm after a party. She said he didn't have to; he told her that he wouldn't be a gentleman if he let her walk home alone. The truth was he just didn't want to leave her side. He walked her back and gave her a hug.

_Jasper felt Alice's body pressed gently against his and he tightened his grip. He never wanted to let her go. He loved the feeling of having her so close to him. He sighed into her hair, wishing this moment would never end. _

_Alice started to pull away and he kept his arms around her. He looked deep into her eyes, amazed at the depth and beauty they held. He brought a hand to her face, his thumb tracing her cheek. "You are so beautiful, Alice," he whispered. _

_Alice smile but paled. She was clearly nervous about something. _

_Jasper started leaning down, craving the feeling of her lips against his, when she pulled away from him suddenly. _

"_It's late and I should be going," she said quietly, not meeting his eyes. _

_Jasper sighed. "Alright. Have a good night, Alice." He watched her walk into the building, carrying his heart with her. _

Jasper sighed, ridding himself of that memory. That's the night he knew Alice didn't feel anything for him other than friendship. He wished everything had turned out differently, but it didn't and there's nothing he can do now.

He's with Rosalie.

He's not entirely sure how he feels about that. She's fun, sometimes, and can be nice when she absolutely needs to be. But is he happy? No, not really. He hasn't been truly happy in…well, last night, but before that he can't remember.

He can't even remember why he's with her anymore, other than it's routine.

He takes a breath before walking into his building, preparing himself for the awaiting storm.

Rosalie was pacing when he walked through the front door. "Where the hell have you been? You didn't come home last night and are just showing up, now, at nine in the morning?"

Jasper took off his jacket, hanging it up before he turned to look at her. "_You_ told me not to come home last night, Rosalie, because you were pissed off that _I_ made you leave the party. If I would have come home, you would have just kicked me right out."

Rosalie glared at him. "How dare you yell at me after the hell you put me through!"

Jasper laughed. "You didn't even know I was gone until this morning when you called me. The call I answered right away, mind you." He sighed. "I don't want to argue. I'm tired and not feeling well. If you have anything more to say to me, tell me later." He walked to the bedroom and shut the door behind him. He just wanted to escape his realities for a while before actually facing them.

Rosalie watched Jasper walk away from her with her mouth open. _How dare he?_ She grabbed her cell and dialed her best friend's number.

"Hello?" Alice groggily called into the phone. The ringing of the phone had woken her up. Her cheeks were sticky from the dried tears. She didn't care enough to wipe it off.

"Alice, it's Rosalie. I need to talk to you." She sighed dramatically. "Jasper didn't come home last night and now he's mad at me because I'm upset about it! What the hell is with him? I was worried sick about him all last night and when he finally decides to mosey on home, he's got a stick up his ass. I mean, seriously, what the hell?" She used a tearful voice, even though she already knew Alice would be on her side.

Alice groaned, not wanting to listen to a Rosalie pity party. She was tired, sick, and missing Jasper—something she didn't even want to admit to herself. "I don't know what to tell you Rosalie." Alice yawned and rolled over so the phone was resting on her ear. She felt completely numb now. There were no more tears left to cry.

Rosalie groaned theatrically. "Alice, you _always_ tell me how to handle things and what to do about them! You have to help me here!" She was screeching at the end of her sentence.

Alice rolled her eyes. She was not in the mood to have Rosalie get all dramatic and theatrical, playing the injured or wronged fiancé—she's played that far more times that Alice could count. "Okay, Rosalie, here's what you do. Leave him alone. You told him not to come home last night and he listened. You don't have a right to be upset with him right now because he did what you asked." She said it a little harsher than she intended, but damn it, she was going through something here. She had a right to be a little snippy. Then she remembered who she was talking to—the fiancé of the man she'd slept with last night.

Rosalie was silent for a minute; Alice had never talked to her like that before. Alice always listened to her and told her exactly what to do. Alice always knew the right thing to do. Rosalie realized Alice was right. "Okay, Alice. You're right. Maybe I am overreacting a little bit."

"No, Rosalie, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. You're obviously upset. I'm sorry. I'm just tired and have a really bad headache." She didn't want to hear about Rosalie's perfect life and everything she has that Alice doesn't. She especially doesn't want to hear about Rosalie trashing Jasper, the very person Alice was longing for at that moment. But she can't forget the person she just betrayed.

Rosalie was angry that Alice didn't have anything more to say about her problem, but decided to let it slide. Just this once. "Thanks Alice, although normally you have more to say." She laughed. "You're probably just hung over from that awesome party last night. That was such a blast! Wasn't it just the best party ever?"

Alice nodded, even though Rosalie couldn't see it. "Yeah, it was memorable." However, Alice was thinking about her night with Jasper, not on Rosalie's party. "Rosalie, I'm really tired so I'm going to let you go."

"Okay. Bye, Alice." Rosalie clicked off the phone and walked to the bedroom. She knocked on the door and received no answer. "Jasper? Jasper I'm sorry about before. I hope you won't be too upset with me for much longer. I hate it when you're mad at me."

Inside the room, Jasper rolled his eyes. Even her apologies were about her. There were no apologies, just hopes that he wouldn't be upset with her because she gets upset when he's upset with her. He didn't acknowledge her. He closed his eyes once again, and longed for the comfort of his fantasies.

***

Alice lay awake that night for a long time, her restless mind not allowing her any peace.

Her mind kept returning to Jasper. How Jasper's lips felt upon hers. How his body fit with hers; it was almost like they were made for each other. Being with him, despite how wrong the circumstances were, it felt so _right._ Righter than anything else had ever felt before.

But she can't think like that. He doesn't belong to her. He belongs to Rosalie.

And then she remembers Rosalie and the guilt picks right on up again. She feels like the worst friend in the history of everything because as guilty as she feels, she doesn't really regret last night. She feels guilty that she betrayed her friend, but she would probably do it again if she had to do it all over again.

She was a sick woman. She knew that. _Whore. Bitch. Slut. And you call yourself her best friend. _

Alice rolled over to the side of the bed that he slept on. She inhaled his lingering scent, wishing he were really here, in the flesh, to hold her throughout the night. He always had that ability to make it seem like the rest of the world just fades away.

She fell asleep crying, thinking once again of the life that could have been.

* * *

A/N: Please review and tell me what you think! :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey everyone. I'm trying to update this story once a month and I think I'm doing okay so far! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think!

* * *

**Alice, **

**I'm writing this to you because I'm too afraid to call you or talk to you face-to-face. I don't think you want anything to do with me. You'd probably just hang up or kick me out. **

**I just wanted to talk about…what happened between us two days ago. I can't stop thinking about it, and you. I miss you so much, Alice. You're on my every thought of every moment of the day. **

**I know that I have no right to even say any of this to you, but I have too. I need to talk to you, Alice. I can't keep sitting here, wondering what you're thinking. **

**Please respond.  
Yours, Jasper**

* * *

**Alice, **

**It's been two days since my e-mail. I haven't heard back from you. I've called you twice, but you never answered and I never left a message. I told you before I was too afraid. I know you don't want to talk to me because you haven't responded to me. **

**Please, Alice, just talk to me. That's all I ask. I just…need to hear from you. I need to know how you're doing, if you're doing okay. I can't stand not knowing. I have some things I want to talk about with you. **

**Please, don't ignore me Alice.  
Yours, Jasper**

* * *

**Alice, **

**It's been a week. One whole week since we were together and you haven't talked to me once. You don't pick up my calls and won't respond. Please, Alice, just let me talk to you. **

**I miss you so much, Alice, it hurts. Literally, it hurts me. I can't do this for much longer, Alice. I want to see you, but I know you would never go for that. I'm just a mistake…right?**

**Please, just talk to me. Tell me how you're feeling. Tell me to fuck off if that's what you need to say. I just need to hear from you, to know that you're okay. Or at least…not a wreck like I am. **

**I miss you Ali.  
Yours, Jasper**

* * *

"_Alice? It's Jasper. Look, I know you don't want to talk to me or have anything to do with me right now…or probably ever again. But, Alice… I just want to check in with you. Can't you just give me that? _

_I'm worried about you, Ali. I know I have no right to worry about you or even be thinking about you, but I can't help it. And the fact that you won't answer me is driving me crazy. _

_Please…just talk to me…"_

* * *

"_Ali…it's been a few days since I last called you. You still haven't talked to me. I know you don't want to talk to me, I get that, but I need to talk to you. Please, just call me and say that you're okay and you never want to hear from me again and I'll leave you alone. I swear. _

_It'll kill me, but if that's what will make you happy, then I'll do it. Just tell me what you want, Ali, and I'll do it. Please."_

* * *

It had been two weeks since the _incident_, as Alice had taken to calling it. Even though it plagued her every thought, she was determined not to let it affect her actions. She went about her life as though everything was normal.

She got up every morning, just like she used to. She would get ready, eat a quick breakfast before leaving for work. She would grab a cup of coffee from a small café before walking to work. Everything was exactly the way it had been before.

She goes to work as the receptionist at a local art gallery, just like before. She answers the phone and takes meaningless messages about things she doesn't care about. She just wants to draw, paint, and be connected with art in any way she can. She doesn't want to be chained behind this desk, unable to do what she's really passionate about.

She takes her lunch break at the pub down the street where the owner, Tom, knows her name.

Everything is exactly as it was before. Nothing appeared to have changed. But it had.

Jasper has tried to contact her more in the last two weeks than he ever had since Rosalie. Alice just wasn't ready to deal with him yet. But it didn't stop her from rereading his e-mails until she has them memorized, or replaying his voicemails so she can hear his voice.

She knows she should just call him and talk to him, figure this whole thing out, but she just…can't. So she takes to thinking about it and his cryptic messages.

Alice's every thought was on Jasper. _What was he doing right now? Did he miss her like she missed him? Does he ever think of our night together? Does he even think of me at all? Is he still upset with me?_

His messages just said that he was concerned for her; that he wanted to make sure she was alright. It was probably the gentleman in him—not really Jasper.

Besides Alice's thoughts, her whole mentality changed. She was no longer rushing to Rosalie's aid every time she needed something. She was realizing that if she wanted a better job, she could get one. For the first time in a long time, Alice was remembering that she could take control of her life and do everything she could to make it the life she wanted.

That's one of the main reasons she was grateful for what happened between her and Jasper. It made her realize that she doesn't have to do what people expect of her. She doesn't have to stay in this dead end job just because her parents don't think she'll make it anywhere with her art. She doesn't have to hang on Rosalie's coattails like Rosalie expects her to be. She's tired of playing second fiddle to someone who cares more about herself than her friend.

She's even thinking about getting a new, better apartment. She just wants a new start. A new chance at the life she always wanted.

****

Jasper stared at the little phone in his shaking hand. It had been two weeks since he'd last seen Alice, last talked to her. He was longing to hear her voice, even if it would only break his heart even more. He'd tried to contact her, but all of his valiant efforts went unnoticed.

He hadn't been the same since that night. He realized how unhappy he was and how much he wanted Alice. He tried to convey that to her in his messages, but it never came out right.

Before he could think about what he was doing, he was dialing Alice's number, praying, just this once, she would answer.

"Hello?" Alice hesitantly asked. She knew it was Jasper, but was worried about what this might mean. She had finally picked up the phone. Two weeks giving her the courage and perspective she needed to deal with this.

"Hi, Alice. It's me, Jasper." He sighed. "I'm sorry for calling so often, but I just…wanted to talk to you. I miss you."

Alice froze in mid-step. She was in her apartment, settling down for another meal alone. She was not prepared for that. "Wh-What?" _He couldn't have just said what I thought he said._

Jasper nearly smiled at how cute she sounded. "I miss you Ali and I need to talk to you. Face to face. Will you please let me?" He was very close to begging and he wasn't ashamed of it. He would do anything to clear the air with Alice. He wanted to make this right and would do everything in his power to make it okay again. To make them okay—better than okay again.

Alice trembled. "Okay. We can talk. When?" She didn't trust herself to say much more than that.

Jasper let out a breath of relief. "Thank you, Alice." He cleared his throat. "Can I come over now, please? I just…I need to see you."

Alice nodded. "Okay. Now." She felt like an idiot that she wasn't saying a whole lot, but she couldn't care about that. Her response was automatic, it wasn't thought through. She said what she really wanted, and what she wanted was to see him. Badly.

Jasper smiled. "I'll see you in a little bit. Bye." He hung up the phone and ran down the stairs, hailing a cab. He needed to get to Alice's as fast as possible.

Alice stared at the phone, unsure what to do with it for some reason. She felt like she couldn't set it down. She glanced around her apartment and realized it was a little messy. Not to a normal person, but to Alice who was incredibly anal about everything.

She dropped her phone like it was on fire and began rushing around her apartment, cleaning everything she could. She wasn't entirely sure why she felt the need to clean, but she just had to. She had to do something to keep her restless hands busy.

She nearly screamed when someone knocked on the door. She took a deep breath before opening her door. Jasper stood there, looking as gorgeous as ever, but he looked ragged. There were bags under his eyes and he looked like crap. Alice had never seen him look like that. "Jasper, are you alright?"

Jasper stepped into the apartment and wrapped himself around Alice. He held her incredibly tight as he buried his face in her hair. "I am now," he whispered. He needed to just _feel_ her in his arms; he needed his world to steady again. He'd always thought his life was perfectly fine until Alice broke through everything he had that night. Ever since, he felt like nothing was right. Now, being with her made the world right again.

Alice held him back, relishing in him. She missed him so much, but she couldn't tell him that. She couldn't allow herself to feel that way about her best friend's fiancé. She pulled away from Jasper, taking a step back. She saw the pain in his eyes as she did it, but had to ignore it. She can't get into anything with him. "What did you want to talk about, Jasper?"

Jasper pushed a hand through his hair, trying not to be hurt by her actions. "Alice, I wanted to talk to you about…the other night."

Alice nodded. She'd been expecting this. "Okay."

Jasper sighed. "I need to know if you really thought it was a mistake."

Alice looked down, her hands fiddling nervously. "Yes, Jasper. What we did was a mistake. It should have never happened. You're engaged." She looked up to meet his eyes, saw the misery flash across his face. "And I betrayed my best friend with my lack in judgment." She sighed again, looking down. "We should never have done what we did. Now all that's left to do is forget about it and get on with our lives."_Which is easier said than done._

Jasper felt his chest, his heart constricting at her words. "I know the circumstances weren't perfect, but are you really telling me you didn't feel anything?" He questioned quietly.

Alice felt tears burning in the back of her throat. "Of course I felt something Jasper. Why do you think I'm trying so hard to forget about it, about you. But don't you see? There's nothing that can come out of this. We both have other obligations." She cleared her throat. "There's no need to talk any more about it because it will do us no good."

Jasper crossed to her, cupping her face in his hands. She had said she felt something and that's all the confirmation he needed. He kissed her passionately, trying to show her all the feelings he kept bottled inside for all these years.

Alice allowed herself to get lost in his kiss, longing to be able to kiss him whenever she wanted. Before she got lost in those types of thoughts, she pulled away. "Jasper, we can't."

He glared at her. "Why not, Alice? You want this and so do I."

Alice pulled his hands away from her face. "Jasper, it's wrong. We can't do anything; you're engaged." She sighed. "I'm sorry, but you should go."

Jasper's face fell at her words. He knew he was engaged, but he wanted to be with Alice. His relationship with Rosalie was…complicated. "Please, Alice, just think about it. I just…care about you so much and I want to be with you in any and every way I can." He sighed. "Will you please just think about it?"

Alice nodded while walking to the door. "Yes, I will think about everything you've told me." She opened the door and looked down.

Jasper sighed and walked out the door. "I've loved you since the day I met you, Alice. Please, don't throw away our shot." He walked away from her, the second time in two weeks.

Alice shut the door behind her and fell to the floor, her back against it.

Why was he saying all this stuff now? He's engaged. Alice didn't even realize she was crying until after the tears dripped down her face and onto her knees. She needed to get her thoughts together. She needed to talk to someone.

She picked up the phone and dialed the one person she could always count on. "Emmett, it's Alice. I need your help."

"What's wrong, Alice?" Emmett's brotherly voice called out. He was her brother in every way but genetics; he was her cousin. They grew up together, going to school together in Forks. He was always there for her whenever he needed someone since Rosalie couldn't be counted on.

"Em…I did something stupid. God…it was so stupid. What the hell was I thinking?" She was hysterical at this point, her sobs making it difficult to catch her breath. "I'm such an idiot. Worse than an idiot…a dumb slut. A dumb, home wrecking, tramp. That's what I am. Oh god, I'm a label. I'm one of those women…"

Emmett was taken about by Alice's sudden outburst. He was used to this sort of thing from Rosalie—never from Alice. She didn't even fall apart when her parents told her she would never do anything in art. "Woah…Alice, calm down. Take a deep breath." He waited while he heard her breath. "Now…tell me what happened."

"I slept with Jasper." Fast, quick, like a band-aid.

To her surprise, Emmett laughed. "Rosalie's Jasper? That's priceless, Alice." He laughed for a good five minutes while Alice sat there silently wondering what the hell was so funny.

"Em…why are you laughing? This is not funny! This is serious…what do I do now?" She screeched into the phone.

"It's just…ironic," he said, nodding to himself at his good word choice. "What do you want to do now? Have you talked to Jasper?"

Alice sighed. "Yeah…a little. He came over today to talk to me about…_it_."

Emmett stifled a chuckle. "What did he have to say about it?"

"He was really upset that I called it a mistake. He looked so hurt by that. But then he said that he wants to be with me…in any way he can." Alice took a deep breath. "Then he told me he's loved me since the first time he saw me."

"Yeah, anyone could see that boy was over the moon for you, Alice."

"Why didn't anyone say anything?" Alice demanded.

"Don't pull the trigger on the messenger. I only met him after he started going out with Rosalie and she brought him home. Alice, he couldn't take his eyes off you. When we went snowshoeing, he watched your every move like a hawk." Emmett explained. "So, I say his assessment is correct. Took him long enough…the idiot."

"Okay…so he really does care for me. But where does that leave us? He's still engaged, to my best friend."

"How do you feel about him?" Emmett questioned carefully.

"I don't know, Emmett. Obviously I care about him. I hate seeing so upset, which is why it's killing me to see him so heartbroken by everything." She sighed. "But I'm stuck in a corner here. I can't tell him to break up with Rosalie and be with me. They've been together for…forever."

"No, Alice, they haven't been together for forever. If that's what you want, you have to tell him that. Maybe not right now," he continued when she started protesting. "Come out here for the weekend, take some time away from the situation and make a decision on what you want to do."

"Maybe…I do miss Esme and Carlisle."

Emmett cursed when his call waiting started beeping. "Alice, I hate to do this to you, especially right now, but my boss is calling me. Just think about what I said and let me know later. Love you, Pix." And then he was gone.

"Love you too, Em." She shut her phone, staring straight ahead, still wondering how to approach the situation.

She really wanted to be with Jasper. She wanted him to be here when she came home from work. She wanted to dance through the door and see him lounging on the couch. When he'd see her, he'd open his arms so she could lay with him. He'd kiss her in greeting, ask about her day, and she'd do the same for him. She could see it all perfectly.

The only problem was Rosalie and their engagement.

She was screwed either way she looked at things.

* * *

A/N: I know Jasper talks a lot at the beginning, but I wanted to show the passing of time and show how each person is dealing with the aftermath. Jasper is obviously looking for a connection while Alice is trying to make a clean break.

If you guys need something to pass your time with, I recently wrote a one-shot about Jasper and Alice set during Eclispe. Also, I am working on Darkness, but I'm not sure if it's flowing right if I switch everything to third person. I will make sure it's good before I post it, but I wanted to ask a question to those of you who have read Darkness. Would you rather have me keep writing it in first person, switching their POV every chapter or rewrite it and make it all in third person. I want to do what you guys would prefer reading! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone! I hope you all are still sticking with me. I'm officially done with school for the summer and am hoping to get a lot of writing done this summer. I must warn you that I'm also trying to work on some original stories as well as stories for other fandoms, so I'm going to stick with having you guys plan on me updating once a month. I hope to update more often than that, but I don't want to have you guys waiting on me. I didn't get a chance to respond to every review, something's wrong with me e-mail, but I appreciate everything you all say to me. It means a lot to hear from the people who read my works. 3

* * *

**Jasper,**

**I've been thinking a lot about what you said. It's actually all I can think about. And I've made a decision. We can't do this. I can't be with you; you're with Rosalie. You obviously love each other and I won't be the person to break up your engagement. It's not right, or fair to Rosalie. Or to you. You deserve the chance to be happy without me—the unnecessary complication. **

**I know you told me that you love me, but I think you just think you love me, because our relationship has always been different from Rosalie's and yours. And now…because of what happened, you think you care about me more than you ever have before. I hope you don't think I'm blaming you, Jasper; we both know I'm as much to blame for what happened as you. More so because I was probably the more sober one of us. I'm sorry for that and all the confusion I've caused you in these past weeks. You shouldn't be worrying about me when you have a fiancé to think about. **

**That's why I'm taking myself out of the equation. It's not fair of me to hold onto that one night we had, when you weren't mine to begin with. I'm hoping that, with myself out of the picture, it'll free you up to stop thinking about me and concentrating again on Rosalie. Where your attention should lie. **

**Again, Jasper, I'm so sorry for everything I've done to disrupt your life. It wasn't right of me and I should have been more responsible. I hope that, in time, you'll forgive me for almost ruining your relationship. **

**Alice**

Alice felt her heart break as she sent that message to Jasper. It had been a few days since Jasper had come over to her apartment and talk to her. He practically told her that he loved her. But she knew that he couldn't have been telling the truth. If he had loved her, why had he never said anything before?

Most of the message was a lie. She wasn't sorry for what happened. Not even in the slightest. Of course, she was upset at the fact she had somewhat betrayed Rosalie's trust, but she was making it right. At least, she was trying.

She knew that she wouldn't be able to be around Jasper anymore. If she was, she'd crack and tell him that she loves him too. But she _can't_ do that. It's not fair to Rosalie. That's why she said all that stuff about taking herself out of Jasper's life.

She was afraid of putting too much faith in the words of men. They all tended to disappoint. Except Carlisle and Emmett—the only two men in Alice's life that had never said anything or done anything to hurt her.

Jasper used to be on that list, until he went out with Rosalie. She knew it would happen eventually. Every guy she had even a slight interest in, always preferred Rosalie to Alice once they met Rosalie. Alice figured it would hurt less if Jasper left her before he became anything more than a friend.

That's the other thing. If he cared about Alice, why would he have asked Rosalie out in the first place?

_He should be with me!_

Alice groaned, hating that her heart kept telling her what it was she really wanted, even though she knew it could never be. She can't be with Jasper. She would not be the tramp who steals Jasper away from her best friend.

Her phone rang; her heart stopped. It wouldn't be…Jasper, would it? Her hand trembled as she reached for the headset. "Hello?" She asks quietly into the phone.

"Alice! It's Rosalie. What are you doing tonight?" Before Alice could take a breath, let alone respond, Rosalie had continued. "Because Mike really wants to go out with you! He said he thought you were cute. I told him that you probably weren't doing anything tonight so you could go out with him. Of course, I told him I'd check with you first though."

"Oh…wow, Rosalie. I'm not sure…I don't even know Mike that well. Besides…I'm not really up to dating right now..." She said, praying that for the first time in her whole life, Rosalie would listen to her.

"Alice…you haven't been out on a date in forever. Ever since…what's-his-name dumped you. You're going."

Alice sighed. "He didn't dump me, Rosalie. I broke up with him."

"Whatever…the point is, you haven't been laid in forever. So I'm hooking you up." Rosalie searched through her binder of wedding details as she placed the phone between her shoulder and her ear. "What type of flowers do you think I should get for the center pieces? Roses, Lilies, or Orchids?"

Alice's heart froze at Rosalie's words. Both from the "getting laid" part and the wedding details. She had just told Jasper she couldn't be with him because of his engagement to Rosalie, but she had forgotten that he was actually going to _marry_ her. "Oh…um…I don't know. Whichever you prefer."

Rosalie sighed dramatically. "You know, for my maid of honor, you haven't shown a whole lot of interest in my wedding."

"You've never really brought it up until now. Except to tell me that Jasper proposed and you wanted me to be your maid of honor," Alice shot back before she thought it through. "Why don't we get together for lunch one of these days and we can start looking through things?" Alice prayed that she couldn't hear the wince in her voice.

Rosalie squealed, dropping the book onto her desk. "That's a great idea, Alice! I'm so excited. I'll make reservations at...oh, I don't know yet! But I'll make the plans and call you tomorrow to tell you where we're going to meet and what you'll need to bring! Okay…now, back to Mike. You're going. He's made reservations as Balthazar's…you _have_ to go! That restaurant is amazing. What a sweet guy to take you there."

Alice wanted to scream, but didn't. She hated restaurants like that for first dates. They were always mostly silent and awkward. "Yeah." She really didn't want to go.

"Mike will be there to pick you up around seven. Make sure you're ready. Wear that really skimpy dark violet dress with the matching stilettos. Oh…and make sure you give yourself a smoky eye. It'll make you look sexy and sultry. Oh…and do something about your hair, Alice. You want to look thirty…not twenty-nine."

_Bitch._ "Okay, Rosalie. I'll see what I can do." Why the hell hadn't Rosalie checked with her before telling Mike where she lived? Or why had she assumed that Alice would want to go? True, Alice wouldn't have put up much of a fight, but it would still be nice to _think_ she had some control over her own life.

"You're going to love Mike, Alice. He's so sweet…and incredibly funny. You two will really hit it off."

"Alright…I'll go. But please, don't expect much out of this Rosalie. I don't want you to pressure me to make this go anywhere if I don't think it's going to." Alice told her, trying to stick up for herself.

Rosalie huffed. "Fine. But it will go somewhere. I just know it." Alice heard some muffled talking in the background followed by Rosalie's disgusted groan. "That was the devil…she needs me to go to a meeting with a client with her. I'll call you later to talk to you when you get in so you can tell me all the details about everything that happened."

"Okay, Rosalie. I'll talk to you later."

"You're welcome." And then Alice heard the click of the phone, signaling the end of the call.

She hung up her phone, glancing at the clock. It was already four; maybe Marlene would let her off early. It's not like anyone was coming in today. But then again, if Marlene made her work late, she'd have to cancel with Mike…

"Alice! You can go. I have no use for an assistant who just stands around, idly twirling her hair with her fingers. It gives a wrong impression." Marlene's nasally voice drifted from the studio above the gallery. She wouldn't grace Alice with her presence; she would just expect Alice to leave as told.

"Okay. I'll see you Monday morning, Marlene." Alice called rolling her eyes. For one thing, Marlene couldn't even _see_ her. The other thing is Alice's hair is much too short for her to idly twirl it around her fingers. But she kept her mouth shut, something she does far too often, and grabbed her purse and jacket.

She opted to take the subway home, wanting to just let her mind haze over. She didn't want to think about anything at all. She just wanted to make it through the next few hours in one piece.

"Alice…you look hot," Mike's gruffly voice told her from the doorway.

"Thanks Mike. You look very good, as well," she told him politely. She glanced at him, looking him over. Black dress pants, with a black dress shirt, accented with a red tie. Yeah, he looked good, but it was definitely something Alice would have never picked out for her date to wear. She had expected him to either wear khakis or dress pants, but she thought he would wear a sweater over his dress shirt. Maybe a pair of roughed up cowboy boots. Just like Jasper. _Stop it, Alice! You can't be thinking about him!_

"Ready to go, babe?" Mike asked, reaching out his hand for hers.

Alice nodded, grabbing her black shall and wrapping it around herself. She hesitantly placed her hand in his, inwardly cringing away from his rough, harsh grip. She silently followed him out to the cab. He placed his arm around her shoulder for the entire cab ride, pushing her shoulders down. It was incredibly uncomfortable. She hated that he was so touchy feely; they had practically just met.

Twenty, excruciating minutes later, they arrived at the restaurant. Alice let Mike pull her into the restaurant, even though she was already regretting her decision to allow Rosalie to persuade her to go on this date. She was going to yell at Rosalie later for this.

Jasper had been unable to pull himself away from his computer for hours after he'd received Alice's message. He just…couldn't believe it was ending like that. It had never really begun in the first place, so technically it hadn't ended. But it still hurt.

It was killing him, slowly from the inside, knowing that he wants to be with Alice, but she doesn't want him.

He glanced at the clock, surprised to see that it was already nine. He quickly grabbed his things and walked back to the apartment. His mind was going one million miles per hour, but it wasn't focusing on anything in particular—except her. Alice's laugh. The way her eyes sparkle with little specs of blue when she smiles really wide. The feel of her head resting on his chest. Her small body wrapped up in his arms.

_Stop it, Jasper. You fucked this up yourself. If you had just been a man back then and asked her out, things might be different. But now, you have to suffer the consequences. _

Jasper's hand gripped his hair, wanting to pull it all out. Anything to get rid of that annoying voice in his head. He hated that the damn voice was right. He should have done something sooner. The worst that would have happened was she would have shot him down. And this, this was much worse than that; not knowing if she was saying no because she really doesn't want to be with him or just because he's engaged.

He walked into his apartment waiting for the storm of Rosalie, asking him where he'd been and what he'd been doing. Instead, he was only confronted by her voice, coming from the kitchen.

"Alice…tell me how everything went! Did you have a good time with Mike? Is he a good kisser? What'd you both do?"

"Calm down, Rosalie. It's not that exciting. We've just had dinner…so far." Alice's voice trilled through Rosalie's phone, which she had put on speaker so she could go through some paperwork from work.

Jasper leaned against the doorway, unable to make his presence known to Rosalie, but needing to hear their conversation. _Alice was out on a…date with Mike?_

Rosalie squealed, "Oh my god! You're such a slut, Alice! You're totally going to hook up right now, aren't you?"

Alice laughed. "No, Rosalie, I'm not going to sleep with him."

"What? You're not? I'm so hurt!" Mike's voice rang through the speaker, followed by Alice's laugh. Jasper was green with envy, his fists clenched so tightly, his fingernails were cutting into his palms.

"Mike's there with you now? What are you doing? I thought you were only going to dinner?" Rosalie questioned.

"We did. And then Mike suggested we go for a drink, and I accepted." Alice's voice informed Rosalie, knowing she was only hoping for juicy details.

"If you were with him, why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have wasted your time." Rosalie said.

Alice laughed, knowing that Rosalie would have done no such thing. "You see, we started talking at dinner and we made a bet on when you'd call. I said you'd call sometime before ten and Mike thought you wouldn't call until after midnight, at least." Mike's grumbling was heard before Alice added, "You should never bet against me, Mike. I'm pretty awesome with that stuff."

"You were betting on me, Alice? You're best friend? What the hell?" Rosalie asked in anger. Where the hell did Alice get off? Why did she think it was okay to treat Rosalie like shit just because she was trying to help?

Alice sighed. "Relax, Rosalie. We were just talking and it came up about how you suggested to Mike that he should ask me out for tonight, and then do the same thing to me. We figured you'd want to know how your match-making worked out."

"Oh…well, how is it working out? He's really cute, isn't he? And he's really sweet…and funny!"

"Yeah, he's really nice and pretty funny. We're really just having a good time, Rosalie, nothing serious for either of us right now. And yeah, he's pretty cute." _But he's got nothing on Jasper,_ Alice wanted to add, but didn't.

Jasper couldn't listen anymore to their conversation. It was literally making him sick, knowing that another guy was with Alice. He was able to hold her hand, kiss her, hold her, touch her, even make love to her. It killed him to know that he couldn't be that guy. He threw his bag on the chair and stormed into the bathroom, intent on taking a long shower to cool off before facing Rosalie.

"Alright, Alice, I'll let you get back to your date with Mike. But call me as soon as you get back tonight and tell me about the rest of it. Promise?"

"Yeah, Rosalie, I'll call you when we're done," Alice promised, although she was unsure whether she would actually keep that promise or not. "But I have to go. We're at the bar."

"Call me later, slut." Rosalie shut her phone, not giving Alice a chance to respond. She went back to her work, not caring that her fiancé was just in the other room.

Alice sighed, slipping her phone back into her purse. "Sorry, Rosalie tends to be very…involved."

Mike laughed as he helped her onto a bar stool before taking the one next to her. "So I've noticed." He signaled for two beers and then cleared his throat. "Just so we're clear…I would have asked you out eventually. I really do like you and think you're cute. Rosalie just…well, made me ask you out for tonight."

Alice laughed, grabbed her bottle from the bartender. "Rosalie can be like that sometimes—most of the time."

"I know. I just wanted to make sure you knew that I didn't ask you out just because Rosalie told me too. I really did want too." Mike told her before taking a long swig.

Alice smiled at him. "Thanks." She watched him for a moment as he took in the rest of the bar. Somewhere along the night she'd thought would go to hell, it had all gone well. Mike was actually really funny, and very sweet. He'd pulled out her chair for her, let her pick the appetizer and didn't say anything when she just ordered a seafood salad. He'd even stood up when she had left to go to the bathroom.

He was just nervous in the cab ride—that's why he hadn't really said much. But they'd really hit it off once they started talking. He's an architect, working at a firm somewhere in Manhattan. He's an only child, originally from New Jersey and had always had a crush on Betty White. When Alice raised an eyebrow at him, he just shrugged and said that she was cute, funny, and opinionated—what's not to like? Alice simply laughed before admitting that she'd always had a "thing" for Mr. Feeney from _Boy Meets World._

They ended up having a lot in common and Alice was actually enjoying herself. Surprisingly. She knew there was no real future with Mike, but it was nice to feel wanted. And she was having fun for the time being.

"So, Alice? What are your plans for the weekend? Anything exciting?" Mike asked her.

Alice smiled. "Yeah, actually I'm going back home to Washington for the weekend to visit some family."

"Is it for a family function or just because?" He asked her, his light blue eyes shining kindly.

Alice laughed. "No family functions for my family. That would be too much crazy."She twirled her bottle around aimlessly. "It's just…I haven't seen my Aunt or Uncle in a really long time…and they were more like parents to me growing up than my own parents."

Mike placed a hand gently on hers. "I'm sorry if that upsets you." He had this weird knack for saying sweet things randomly. She liked it.

"I'm not. They were just around more than my parents and they are much more supportive about my life than my parents." Alice sighed. "My parents have always expected me to become a doctor, like my uncle, or a lawyer, like my dad. But I really wanted to be an artist; they hated that. Refused to pay for my school. That's when my Uncle and Aunt stepped up, offering to pay for it. I couldn't accept that, so I'm slowly paying them back right now."

Alice laughed. "And that's the end of my pity party."

Mike smiled. "It wasn't a pity party. You were simply telling me about yourself. It sounds like you'll have a good weekend spending time with Aunt and Uncle. And since you won't get to be spending an awesome weekend with me, it seems like you'll be settling for second best." He told her with a wink.

Alice laughed. "You're right. It's going to be so difficult to be without you for three days. I honestly don't know how I'm going to survive!"

"How about getting together again next weekend? Dinner again on Friday?"

Alice nodded. "Sure. That sounds like fun." She glanced at the clock. "Unfortunately, I should end the evening here. I have to be up relatively early tomorrow to get to the airport in time for my flight." She placed some bills on the bar, grabbing her coat.

Mike stood, doing the same, before grabbing her hand and leading her outside. "I'll wait with you while you try to hail a cab." He raised his arm in a wave, trying to signal any cab.

Alice laughed and pushed his arm down. "You have to wait for the opportune moment."

Mike put on a mock hurt expression. "Fine, Ms. I-can-do-so-much-better-than-you-at-hailing-cabs. Show us how it's done."

Alice smiled. "It's not the perfect moment yet. But I will when the moment arrives. I had a really nice time tonight, Mike. Thank you."

Mike smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You're welcome, but I should be thanking you. I had a great time tonight, also."

Alice arm shot in the air, right as a cab turned onto the street. Mike was wide-eyed by the time the cab stopped at the curb. "How the hell did you do that?"

Alice laughed, walking over to the cab. "Psychic," she said, pointing to her temple. "Remember?"

Mike laughed with her, walking her to the cab. She opened the door and Mike place a hand on her arm. She smiled at him, moving into his embrace. He tilted her head up, capturing her lips with his. She almost recoiled; the feeling of his lips was rough, not tender like Jasper's. But then she remembered that she can't think about Jasper like that, and threw herself into the kiss.

She pulled away after a fairly long minute, smiling gently. "I'll see you next weekend, stud."

Mike laughed as she slid into the backseat. "I'll call you later in the week to set everything up. Have a good weekend, Alice." He shut the door to the cab, watching it until it was out of sight.

A/N: What did you think? Please, don't flame me for having Mike in there-I'm all for Alice and Jasper, but I wanted this story to be different than the original storyline from "Something Borrowed." Please review so I know if you guys are still liking it! Also, be on the lookout for some Alice/Japser oneshots I'll be writing and posting soon for the Twilight25 fanfic challenge on livejournal. They'll be under their own story with a title that has yet to be determined! :)

3 all of you!


	5. Chapter 5

Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Fourth of July celebration-for those in the USA. I've decided to post a little earlier after getting some inspiration yesterday to finish this chapter. Happy reading!

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Alice watched the conveyor carry the duffels, suitcases, and other bags around and around as she searched for hers. The same pink bag had gone around three times and she had yet to see her dark purple, rolling suitcase float by.

"Pix? Looking for something?" A loud, bellowing voice called from behind her, a laugh echoing within it.

She whirled around, unsure whether to be annoyed or grateful that Emmett stood there, holding her suitcase. She went with annoyed. "I've only been standing here for about a half an hour, waiting for that!" She sauntered up to him, mock glaring at him.

Emmett just laughed as he threw his arms around her, lifting her off the floor in one of his infamous bear hugs. Her feet dangled close to a foot off the ground since she was barely 5'3" and Emmett was close to 6'2". She always looked like a child next to him, not only because of his height but because of his size. He was huge, in that offensive lineman type of way.

She smiled up at him once he set her back on the ground. His dark brown eyes shined with happiness and dimples appeared on his boyish face as he grinned back at her. "It's good to see you, Alice. It's been too long since you've come home." He grabbed her back with one hand and wrapped the other arm around her shoulders.

"I know. It has, I'm sorry," she said quietly. Truth was, she had wanted to come home for a while, but was always too busy to make the time. And she didn't want to have to see her parents. Now, seeing how happy Emmett was to see her, she realized all her excuses were bullshit. She could have suffered through a meeting with them for Emmett, Esme, and Carlisle.

Emmett laughed as he led her to his car in the lot. "No apologies needed, pix. We all know how busy our little artist is."

Alice chuckled sadly, but didn't say anything. They were always proud of her for following her dreams, but what was she doing now? She was doing exactly what her parents said she would do: nothing. They always told her that going to art school was a waste of time and money because there was no way she would be able to make it anywhere with just that. And now, she proved them right. She was a minimum paid receptionist with next to no benefits.

Emmett knew his cousin extremely well—mostly because he thought of her as his little sister—and knew that she didn't want to talk about that anymore. So he drove in silence, waiting for her to be the one to break the silence.

After a long, twenty minutes, Alice finally opened her mouth to say something. "What's been happening here since I last came here?"

Emmett spared a side glance and rolled his eyes. "Come on, Alice. It's Forks. Nothing ever really changes in this little town. Oh…Jessica and Mike finally got married—I think they were in your class. Anyways, they invited me to their wedding. She looked like she ate one too many carrots...or a thousand too many."

Alice laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh my god! Are you serious? She was really orange for her wedding day?"

Emmett laughed, happy he was able to ease her mind just a little bit. "Yeah…she was totally orange. I almost started laughing as she walked down the aisle! I had to fake a coughing fit to leave the church to compose myself!"

Alice laughed so hard, picturing perfect, conceited Jessica as bright, vibrant orange. Jessica had always been vain, always worrying about her looks and clothes and image. "I feel bad laughing…but that's just…too good."

Emmett chuckled as he pulled down the driveway that was mostly hidden by trees, brush, and grass. "Mom and Dad are really excited you decided to come down this weekend. Mom made sure to have all your favorite food and movies. She is so ready to have a girls night with you." Emmett said, rolling his eyes.

Alice smiled. "I can't wait! I love hanging out with Esme. What are you and Carlisle doing?"

Emmett put the car in park and pounded his chest once. "Us men go to bar."

Alice laughed, unbuckling herself before getting out of the car. "You two sure are the manliest men I know."

"Alice!" Her aunt's voice squealed as the front door flew open. Alice had barely turned around before her aunt had her arms fervently wrapped around her. "I missed you so much!"

Alice wrapped her arms around her aunt, smiling. "I've missed you too, Esme! You have no idea!"

She heard a deep chuckled from her left and glanced over Esme's shoulder at her uncle. "Hello, Alice. Did you have a good flight?"

Alice nodded and, after being released by Esme, launched herself at her uncle. He laughed at the force behind her hug. "Hi Carlisle! It's so good to see you."

"Come on, guys! It's cold outside!" Emmett complained as he walked toward the door, carrying Alice's suitcase.

Carlisle led his niece and wife into the house, shutting the door behind them. He offered them coffee, before going to get it, knowing his wife wanted a moment alone with Alice.

Emse ushered Alice into the living room, practically pushing her down onto the couch. "I have to warn you about something."

Alice looked at her aunt curiously. "What's wrong?"

Esme shook her head. "Nothing's wrong…exactly. It's just…your mother found out that you were coming home for the weekend and demanded that you go there for dinner tonight."

Alice groaned. "Tonight? I don't think I'm strong enough to get through that tonight," she whispered into her hands that now covered her face.

Esme wrapped an arm around Alice's shoulder. "You'll be fine. I told them you don't get in until five, so it would have to be a short dinner because you'll be tired." She gently pushed Alice's hair out of her face, saddened by the distraught face on her niece. "I promise you, you'll be fine."

Alice nodded, glancing at the clock; her euphoria from seeing her family completely washed away. She felt her comfort, her home, about to fall down like a house of cards. "I think I'm going to go and lie down for a little while before lunch…if that's okay."

"Of course, dear. You don't have to ask my permission. I'll just do some cleaning and then prepare lunch. If you're not up by then, I'll come and get you. I thought we could go shopping after lunch to find you some new clothes to wear tonight."

Alice smiled, her mood a little lighter at hearing how well her aunt knew her. "That sounds wonderful. I haven't really shopped in a long time."

"Where's our Alice and what have you done with her?" Emse joked as she watched Alice walk toward the stairs.

"She's just been busy." _And pining for a man she'll never have while wallowing in her own self-loathing._ Alice smiled before turning up to her room. She just needed to escape for a little while. She had hoped that just by coming here, thoughts of Jasper would disappear. But here she was, barely an hour into her trip and her mind was already on Jasper. She wished he was here to hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright—like he used to.

But he wasn't and wasn't ever going to be. She needed to accept that.

"Alice, you really should have worn something…more your age," her mother chastised before Alice had even sat down at the dinner table.

Alice rolled her eyes in mock annoyance, but the remark cut her deep. She was wearing a simple gray, pencil skirt paired with a bright teal top. It was a lower-cut, wrap around style that accentuated her smaller waist and helped…enhance her less than enormous breasts.

"And really, Alice…you need a new hairstyle. That makes you look like a little child…except, of course, for those lines that are starting to appear around your mouth and eyes." Her mother remarked as she smoothed her skirt, sitting down.

Alice's hands gingerly smoothed her bangs down, hating that her mother always found fault with everything about her. Her clothes, her hair, her personality, or her appearance. She could just do no right in either of her parents' eyes, but especially in her mother's.

"Alice, it's rude not to acknowledge someone when they talk to you."

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'll think about what you said," Alice told her quietly. Her father had yet to look up from his palm pilot as he sat at the head of the table. He didn't even acknowledge that she was here. She wanted to know why her parents even wanted her to come over for dinner.

"So, tell me how Rosalie is doing. I'm sure she's excitedly planning her wedding," her mother said happily as she started picking at her salad. That was what was for dinner: salad. Her mother was never one for the kitchen, so dinners always consisted of one, simple, plain course.

Alice chocked on her water as her mother brought up Rosalie. Her mother had always preferred Rosalie to Alice, even when she was little. Her mother would always say things about how she wished Alice had hair like Rosalie, or manners like Rosalie, or a figure like Rosalie. Alice tried to do everything to get her mother to like her, but nothing has ever worked.

"Oh…yeah, Rosalie is starting to plan everything." Alice said quietly, shifting her salad around since she'd lost her appetite.

"I hope you're helping her plan. You are her maid of honor." Before Alice could respond, her mother clapped her hands together, squealing. "Oh…let's call her right now. I haven't talked to her in a couple of weeks. It'll be so nice to see how she's doing." She pushed out of her chair, rushing to grab her phone.

Alice glared at her plate. Her mother talked more with Rosalie than her own daughter. She couldn't breathe—it felt as though her chest was caving in. She fumbled for her phone, texting Emmett to come and get her. Now.

"Rosalie! I'm so happy you're answered!" Her mother's voice trilled out as she reemerged into the dining room.

"Oh, Mrs. Brandon, it's wonderful to hear from you as well. How are you and your husband doing?" Rosalie responded as she was on speaker phone.

Alice's mother sat down, glancing sadly at Alice. "You have more manners than my own daughter. She hasn't even asked me that yet."

Rosalie laughed. "That sounds just like Alice. She's always so concerned with herself."

Alice's breath was coming out fast and hard. Her mind was going everywhere at once and she couldn't focus on anything. She would get like this occasionally when her mother's words got to her. It killed her to know that she's such a disappointment to her mother.

"Anyways, we're doing fine. I wanted to check in on how your planning is going."

"It's going…slowly. Alice can't find time to help me. She's such a horrible maid of honor. It's like she doesn't even care about me." Rosalie sniffed.

Alice's mother glared at Alice. "Apologize Alice."

Alice looked up, trying to steady her breathing. "S-sorry, Rosalie," she whispered.

"Oh, Alice, it's okay. I can forgive you…again," Rosalie sighed.

Rosalie and Alice's mother continued their banter of putting Alice down, while she sat there silently praying Emmett would walk through those doors.

"Hey guys! I'm here to pick up Alice!" Emmett's booming voice called out as he shut the door. He heard his aunt talking on the phone and someone talking on the other line. He walked in and was shocked at what he saw. His uncle was not even paying attention to either his wife or daughter while his aunt was talking about Alice like she wasn't even here. And Alice, her face was white, her eyes too dark, too wide. Her little hands were gripping the chair beneath her so tightly, her knuckles were bone white. Tears were filling her eyes as she stared down. Rage overtook Emmett; he's always known they didn't think Alice made a good choice in her career, but he never knew her mother really preferred Rosalie over Alice.

"What the hell is going on?" His aunt's face turned up to glare at him, about to scold him for using that type of language, but he cut her off. "Your daughter is sitting her, listening to all those horrible things you're saying about her. And you, Rosalie, are supposed to be her best friend. You two should realize how lucky you are to have the chance to know Alice." He grabbed Alice's hand and pulled her up, wrapping his arm protectively around her shoulders. She had yet to say anything.

"We're leaving. You all should be ashamed of yourself for treating Alice this way. She doesn't deserve it." Emmett told them, leading Alice from the house.

The car ride back to his parent's house was completely silent as Alice tried to calm herself and Emmett tried to reign in his anger. He didn't know what he could say or do to make Alice feel better. Was there anything he could do?

"Em? I need you to promise me something." Alice said quietly.

"Anything, Alice," he said just as quietly.

"I need you to promise not to tell Esme and Carlisle what you saw tonight. It would break their hearts to know that they think of me that way. I can handle it, but I don't think they would be able to."

Emmett growled, he hated that Alice wanted it to be this way. She shouldn't have to suffer alone, but he knew how stubborn she could be. "Fine, I won't say anything to Carlisle or Esme on the one condition that I will always accompany you to dinners with your parents from now on."

Alice sighed, secretly grateful that he would be there with her from now on. "Alright, deal. Thanks for everything, Emmett. I really owe you on."

Emmett shook his head. "No, you don't Alice. But what are we going to tell Esme and Carlisle about why you left so early?"

"I'm going to tell them that I got a really bad migraine—remember how bad I get them? That way, they'll leave me alone for the night so I can compose myself by tomorrow."

"Alright, Alice, if you say so." Emmett pulled into his driveway, surprised to see his parents' car gone. "They must have gone out to dinner or something."

Alice grabbed her purse and made her way into the house, walking straight to the stairs. "Em, I'm just going to lay down, okay?"

Emmett nodded, watching her walk up the stairs. "Sure. I'll be down here if you need anything at all."

Alice made it to her room, disrobing completely as she grabbed her sweatpants and t-shirt. She curled in her bed, turning on the little television for company. Her eyes burned with tears as she thought of the night. Her parents always did this to her; they made her feel like shit, worthless.

Her phone ringing forced her out of her negative thoughts. She answered it without checking the caller ID. "Hello?" She said quietly, straining her voice to sound happy.

"Ali…are you okay?" Jasper's gentle, comforting voice asked from the other line. When Alice didn't respond, he continued. "I overheard the conversation on the phone…oh, Ali, I'm so sorry."

Alice's tears increased as she thought of how caring Jasper always was in regard to her parents. She'd never really told anyone how bad it was because she didn't want their pity. She would be okay; she always was eventually. But hearing Jasper's voice, knowing he was worried about her, sent her over the edge. "Jazzy…why do they hate me so much?" she sobbed out.

Jasper's heart broke as he heard her distraught tone. "They don't hate you, Alice. No one could ever hate you." He sighed, wishing there was something more he could do for her. "They just don't appreciate how amazing you are." He hoped she would believe his words.

She cried, wanting to believe his words but not able to. No one had ever thought she was amazing before. Why would he?

He let her cry for a few minutes, unable to hang up the phone on her. He wanted her to know that he was there for her. "Ali…is there anything I can do for you? I want you to feel better."

She wiped at her eyes. "Could you…stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep? Like you used to?" She whispered hesitantly.

Jasper smiled, remembering all the times they'd stay on the phone with each other all night. "Of course, Alice." He started humming some random songs as he waited for Alice to fall asleep. He knew he shouldn't be getting more involved with her since her e-mail clearly said to leave her alone, but he couldn't let her suffer on her own. Especially not after hearing that phone call.

He had been livid after listening to that. Shocked that her mother would say those things about Alice; pissed that Rosalie would cut at her friend like that. He wanted more than anything to be able to be there for her right now, holding her and telling her that it doesn't matter what they say because she's amazing.

He paused his humming, listening to her breathing. Her breathing had leveled out, signaling that she was now asleep. He smiled to himself, picturing Alice curled up with the phone pressing between her ear and the pillow. Her long lashes splayed over her ivory cheek, hiding those gorgeous green eyes. He wished he was there, cradling her to his chest, feeling the weight of her head on his chest.

He sighed. "God, Ali…I love you so much. I just don't know how to show you. I would give up everything for you…if I knew you wanted me. But I'm not sure you do," he whispered. "I'll always be here for you, Alice."

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A/N: So, what did you think? Please, let me know in a review-I love getting them! I've changed the direction of the story again while writing this chapter. Everytime I start to make a plan for where this story is going, I end up changing one little thing that takes me in a whole new direction!

All my readers and reviews...you guys are the best! 3


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: So you guys are so totally amazing! I got over twenty reviews for the last chapter! You guys are just fantastic! The way you guys are so into my story makes me want to write faster and get chapters out to you! Thank you so much for being patient! :)

* * *

Alice woke up, the phone still pressed into her face. The events of the night came flooding back to her: dinner with her parents, the phone call with Rosalie, Emmett rushing in to rescue her, and the phone call with Jasper. Had he really stayed on the phone with her until she fell asleep? She clicked through her phone menu, looking up the length and time of the last call. Jasper had called at around 10:04 and stayed on the phone with her until 11:30.

A small smile made its way onto her face, a warm feeling filling her as she thought of how Jasper stayed with her. He actually called her—despite her pleas and demands that he leave her alone—to make sure she was alright. She couldn't help but think about that alternate universe where her and Jasper could be together.

She let herself fall into fantasies of Jasper holding her, kissing her, making love to her. She could picture their life together as easily as she could breathe. He would be happy at his photography job, taking scenic pictures for a travel magazine with a side job of taking photographs for the local newspaper. She would be the artist she always dreamed of being. She'd have her own little gallery that she'd run herself, and have a studio where she could lose herself in her art.

They'd have their own flat close to Central Park. It would be higher up so they could look out their windows, or go onto their balcony and have a wonderful view of the city. They would cuddle together after work, watching the news or some show on the television. He would complain about the women who would shamelessly throw themselves at him and she would pretend to be jealous. He would play along, reassuring her that she was the only woman for him—how could he look at another woman with a perfect angel right in his arms?

She could hear him saying that; he always had a romantic streak. She would complain about how she was trying to sketch this scene in her head, but it wasn't coming out right on the paper. Then they'd eat a meal together, maybe take out or Jasper would cook for her. He always was a good cook.

And they'd have date nights, taking turns picking where to go. She'd pick going to a club, dancing all night with Jasper holding her tight. She'd drink fruity cocktails while Jasper had one beer, refusing to drink more than one because he needed to make sure she was safe when he drove them home. She'd be extremely flirty with him the whole night, practically pouncing on him the minute they walked through the doors.

Alice caught herself daydreaming, angry at herself for letting it get that far. She was just about to throw her phone when it vibrated in her hand. She flipped it open, unsure if she was relieved, angry, giddy, or sad that it was from Jasper. She hesitantly clicked on the view button, bracing herself for what it might say.

_I hope you're feeling better this morning. I know you told me to let it go, but I just wanted to make sure you knew that I will always be here if you need me. –J_

He always was sweet like that. He demanded that she let him know when she got back to her apartment after going out. He would send her a morning after text when she would call him the night before in hysterics. He was always so concerned with her wellbeing, wanting to make sure she was safe and happy. She could never ignore him, even when she was mad at him.

_I'm okay now. Thanks for everything Jazz. _

She sent it before she could rethink it or add anything else. She couldn't let herself get any more attached than she already was. She needed to distance herself from him in order to let him go.

"Alice? Are you up yet?" Her aunt's voice called through the door.

"Yeah, Esme. I'm just gathering my things to go take a shower," she called out.

Her aunt opened the door, smiling at her niece. "Are you still up for shopping today?"

Alice laughed. "Of course I am! I hardly ever get to go anywhere with you!" She rolled out of bed and went to her suitcase. She began looking for an outfit to wear for the day.

Esme's smile widened hearing her niece's sincere tone. "I was thinking we could go for manicures and pedicures while were out in Seattle. We could have a type of girls' day. What do you think?"

Alice threw her outfit onto the bed and flitted over to her aunt, giving her a hug. I think that sounds like a wonderful idea. Movies and ice cream after dinner, right?"

Esme laughed. "Of course. Our girls' day wouldn't be complete without that! Now, you get ready, I'm going to whip up a little breakfast and then we'll be on our way."

Alice watched her aunt walk out of her room, amazed at how much better she was feeling by just being here. Her aunt and uncle always made her feel so welcome and loved just by being herself. She never had to act differently or felt inadequate. They never put her down; they just accepted her and loved her for who she was.

She grabbed her clothes and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. She felt more hopeful about everything after her talk with her aunt. Today was going to be a good day. She was going to make sure of it.

***  
Jasper rolled onto his back, facing the ceiling. The couch was a little too small for him, but he couldn't face spending the night with Rosalie. His blood still boiled at the thought of what Rosalie and Alice's mother did to Alice. They fucking attacked her with no motivation at all—just out of the blue.

He took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling. There were a few paint cracks in the corners and it wasn't really white anymore. He'd spent four hours painting that ceiling, the specific shade of white Rosalie wanted, while she chatted on the phone to whoever it was she was talking about.

He looked around the apartment, really taking it in. He realized how little of himself was present in _their_ apartment. She picked the colors, the décor, and all the furniture. She chose everything in the apartment, while he paid for it all. He should have fought harder to have things he wanted. He shouldn't have just let Rosalie pick whatever the hell she wanted.

Actually, he should have never gone out with her in the first place. But that was his mistake, and now he was in too deep to just jump out now. Or was he?

Alice had just responded to his text: formal, concise, and not like herself. She was shutting him out and he knew it. He wished she wouldn't be so goddamn self-sufficient for once in her life and let him comfort her.

_She's not the one you should be comforting. She's not your fiancé, _a little voice chirped in his head. He hated to admit that it was right. Alice wasn't his; she wasn't his fiancé—Rosalie was. He should be in their bed right now, being with Rosalie. But his mind wouldn't let go of Alice.

He should be with her, not Rosalie. He knew that, but her knew he didn't have the strength or courage to call off the wedding with Rosalie, and jeopardize everything. What if he called off the wedding, but Alice still didn't want him? Then he really wouldn't have anything left.

The thought of not having Alice in his life at all brought on way too much pain. He couldn't bear to think about a life without Alice. Not being able to hear her laugh, see her dazzling smile, feel her in his arms—knowing there wouldn't even be the possibility of that ever again kills him. That's why he couldn't bring himself to call off the wedding just yet. He needed to know Alice would be a part of his life, no matter what part she played. He hoped it would be that part that stands by him and loves him, but as long as she's with him in some way, he wouldn't complain.

"Jasper? What the hell was with you last night?" Rosalie questioned as she walked out of her room and into the kitchen. Jasper raised an eyebrow at her questioningly. "You stormed off into the room and barricade yourself in there for an hour. Then, you grab your stuff and sleep on the couch," Rosalie huffed out. "So, I ask again. What the hell?"

Jasper sighed. "I was pissed, so I slept out here."

Rosalie stomped into the kitchen and slammed things around, making a huge commotion. "What did I do now to upset you, Jasper? You're always angry with me for something." She slammed a cabinet shut, punctuating her sentence.

Jasper rolled his eyes and sat up. "Enough with the theatrics, Rosalie. I hardly ever act angry with you."

"You still didn't answer my question. What is with you?" Rosalie poked her head out of the kitchen to ask her question. She went right back into the kitchen before Jasper even responded.

"Do you even care how you treated Alice last night?" He asked her, trying to keep his anger in check.

"What do you mean? Her mom and I were just pointing out that she hasn't put a whole lot of interest into this wedding." Rosalie shrugged as she plopped down on the chair with her cup of coffee.

Jasper laughed bitterly. "No, you two attacked her. Is that really how you want to treat your best friend?"

Rosalie glared at him. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and walked to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

Jasper grabbed his blankets and threw them into the room before walking to the bathroom door. "Is that how you're going to acknowledge what you did to Alice? Just walk away and pretend you didn't just treat your supposed best friend like shit."

Rosalie pulled open the door, eyes blazing. "What the hell is that supposed to mean, Jasper? My _supposed_ best friend is Alice, she always has been. That's just how we act."

Jasper glared at her. "So, it's okay to attack your best friend and treat her like dirt? She's always there for you Rosalie, doing what you want and saying what you need to hear. I don't know why she puts up with you."

Rosalie slapped him before she could stop herself, but she wasn't sure she would have if she'd had the chance. How _dare_ he say those things to her? She was an amazing friend to Alice, always there for her and giving her advice. It was Rosalie that got Alice a date for Friday night.

Jasper hadn't even flinched when Rosalie slapped him; he'd been expecting it. She always had a short temper, but he'd hardly ever felt the whip of it. He never spoke up to her, choosing to just let her have her way than to try and fight her. It was easier to ignore the issues than deal with them and Rosalie.

He turned away from her and grabbed his coat. He heard her slam the bathroom door but he couldn't care less. He walked out the door, not looking back. He was done with her games and crap.

Alice sat on the couch with Esme, nibbling on her bowl of popcorn. They'd put in a romantic movie, but they were too busy chatting to really pay attention to it. They had a lot of catching up to do. Esme had told Alice all about Carlisle promotion to head of ER. She talked about her growing interior decorating business. Everything seemed to be falling in place for the two of them.

"Enough about me, what's going on in your life? Any new boys?" Esme asked with a smile.

Alice laughed shakily. "Uh…well, not exactly. I did go on a date with this guy—Mike—the other night. We have plans to get together again later this week."

Esme nudged Alice's shoulder playfully. "Do you see it going anywhere?"

Alice shook her head. "No…he's a really sweet guy and all, but I don't think we have a future." Alice looked down at her hands which were nervously fidgeting.

Esme took in Alice's stance, her motherly concern kicking in. "Alice, what is it?"

Alice's eyes filled with tears, but she couldn't look up. "I've done something horrible."

Esme took Alice's hands in hers, trying to soothe her niece. "Sweetie, I'm sure it's not that bad. It can't be that bad."

Alice shook her head. "I slept with Jasper…Rosalie's fiancé."

Esme's actions paused for a split second out of surprise, but she shook that off. "How did that happen?" Esme asked kindly.

"It was the night of my party, well the party Rosalie threw for me and I didn't know anyone. It all started when Rosalie said some things that really hurt me. I went outside to get away from everyone. Jasper ended up finding me out there and offered to take me home. When we got to my apartment, he walked me upstairs, like the gentleman he is, and gave me a hug. He's heard the things Rosalie said and wanted to make me feel better. One thing led to another…" Alice broke off, ashamed of herself.

"Were you two drinking?"

Alice nodded, then shook her head. "I don't know. I mean, we both were, but I wasn't drunk. Maybe a little tipsy, but completely aware of my actions. Jasper…I think he was drunk, but I'm not sure." Alice finally looked up, meeting her aunt's eyes. "I wanted it to happen. How horrible is that? I wanted to be with my best friend's fiancé."

Esme pulled Alice to her, wrapping her arms around her niece. "Oh, Alice…it's not horrible to want to be someone. Jasper was your friend long before he even got together with Rosalie. There was always something special between you two, everyone could see it—except you two of course."

Alice rubbed at her eyes, trying to take away the appearance of her tears. "Wh-what do you mean?"

Esme chuckled. "That boy had eyes for you Alice. The few times I'd seen him with you, when Carlisle and I would come and visit, he was always star struck over you." She smoothed her niece's hair. "I know you care about him, Alice."

"I do, Esme. I care about him so much…I might even love him." Alice laughed bitterly. "What good does that do me? He's not mine."

"It doesn't mean you can't do anything about it," Esme told her gently.

"What can I do about it? He's engaged to Rosalie. I can't just break up the wedding."

"You can tell him how you feel."

Alice scoffed. "Yeah, I can just waltz right up to him, tell him I may be in love with him and that he should call off the wedding." She shook her head. "I can't do that to Rosalie. Besides, who's to say Jasper would even want to be with me?"

Esme pulled Alice back, looking at her face. "Don't say that, Alice. Don't sound so downhearted. You're always so hard on yourself. You won't know what he wants until you ask him."

Alice shrugged. "May be. I guess telling him how I feel wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It's not like we're really close anymore. Rosalie saw to that."

Esme smiled. "Exactly. Just talk to him, see what his thoughts and feelings are."

Alice sat up, grabbing her phone. "Okay, you're right. I should at least talk to him. Blocking him out isn't helping."

Esme nodded. "Besides, you don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering what might have happened if you'd told him."

Esme was right. If she didn't at least try to talk to Jasper, she'd wonder what if for the rest of her life. She dashed up the stairs, not saying goodnight to Esme because she'd understand. She flopped onto her bed, her stomach in knots. She dialed Jasper's number, focusing on breathing in and breathing out as she waited.

Jasper sat on the couch, feet propped up glaring at the television. He'd returned home a half hour ago to a "graveling" Rosalie. She practically jumped on him the moment he walked through the door, telling him that she was so sorry and that he was right. She begged him to forgive her and he did, because he was raised to forgive and forget. However, he was having a hard time forgetting this incident.

His phone buzzing roused him from his thoughts; his heart stopping when he saw Alice's name flash across the screen. He flipped it open and hesitantly said, "Hello?"

Alice's relief was as audible as the breath she let out. "Jasper…I was hoping you'd answer."

Jasper felt a relaxed smile form on his face knowing Alice called him. "I'd always answer for you. What can I help you with?" He was trying really hard to not get his hopes up.

"Um…well, I wanted to talk to you about…something. Can you talk?" Alice fidgeted with the edge of her pillow.

Jasper cleared his throat nervously. "Yeah, of course I can."

"Okay, great…well, um…it's about…what happened between us," Alice said quietly. Her heart was pounding so loud, she was sure he could hear it over the phone. She felt dizzy and nervous and giddy and scared to be talking about this, to actually be considering telling him how she felt.

"Okay…what did you want to say about it?" Jasper cleared his throat again, a nervous habit. He set his feet back on the floor, leaning forward onto them.

"It's just…well, I've been thinking a lot about…what happened, and about you," Alice started hesitantly. "I just feel like I have to tell you how I feel and think otherwise spend the rest of my life regretting it."

Jasper nodded. "Yeah, that makes…" He trailed off when he saw Rosalie enter the room. She was wearing a satin, dark crimson lingerie set. Her stilettos were four inches high, making her calves look extremely toned. She struck a sultry pose, jutting her breasts out. The sight of her should have made him aroused, but it just made him annoyed. He didn't want Rosalie, he wanted Alice.

Rosalie sauntered over to her man, swaying her hips. She saw the fire in his eyes when he first saw her and knew that all would be forgiven when she was done with him. "Jasper…I want you," she said seductively.

"Jasper?" Alice began. "Are you still—" she stopped her sentence when she heard Rosalie's voice. She could just imagine the outfit Rosalie had put together—Alice had shopped with her for things like that more times than she could count. Of course Jasper stopped talking, he was drinking in Rosalie's goddess-like figure. Her self esteem just dropped to a negative 20. There's no way she could compete with Rosalie.

"Alice…hold on a sec," Jasper said into the phone. He covered the mouthpiece before addressing Rosalie. "Not now, Rosalie. I'm on the phone." The last thing he wanted to even think about right now was being in bed with Rosalie.

Rosalie planted herself on his lap, straddling him. "You're only talking to Alice. She'll understand." She leaned close to him, placing her lips on his neck. "Besides, I want you."

Before Jasper could push Rosalie off him, she grabbed the phone. "Alice? What did you need? Jasper's about to be…really busy."

Alice's heart plunged into the floor hearing Rosalie's voice. Ever since the night she'd been with Jasper, she'd put out of her head that Jasper would have sex with Rosalie. "Oh…that. It's not important. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Alice…wait," Jasper started, knowing what her words really meant. But she had already hung up before he could finish his thought. Although he wasn't entirely sure what he was going to say with Rosalie there.

Rosalie attacked Japser's lips, sucking, licking, thrusting her tongue in his mouth. He wasn't responsive at all. In fact, it was like he was trying to make it stop, make _her_ stop. She pulled back, glaring at him. "What the hell, Jasper? I'm throwing myself at you and you don't want me?"

Jasper gently pushed her off him, standing up to pace. "No, Rosalie. I don't want to have sex right now."

"We haven't had sex in almost two months! When are you going to be ready, Jasper?" She stared at him, piercing him with her eyes. "If you won't give it to me, I might have to find it elsewhere."

Jasper stared at her. "Fine, go ahead." He was so damn tired of her bullshit, but he couldn't figure out how to tell her. He was raised to be a gentleman to women. "I'm so tired of all your melodramatics Rosalie. When you decide it's time to quit acting like a child, let me know. Until then, I'll be at Mike's."

He turned from the room and grabbed a bag, throwing a few random articles of clothing into it. He went to the bathroom to grab his products before storming out of the apartment. He didn't say a word to Rosalie. He was still angry that she killed the one chance he had to talk to Alice; the one time she initiated the conversation. She was going to tell him something important, he just knew it. And now, she'd never tell him.

He flipped his phone, dialing Mike's number. It rang once before he picked up. "Mike, can I stay with you for the night? Rosalie and I had a fight…I don't know if we'll make it through this one."

A/N: Please, review and tell me what you think. I like knowing what the readers think about it! You guys rock! 3


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hello to anyone who is still reading this story. I'm so sorry that it's been...a while...since I've posted anything. I promise you I haven't given up on it, but this semester has really kicked my butt. I was so much busier than I thought I was going to be. But, exams are upon me, so I will have more time to write when they're over and next semster I'll have more time to write! I promise!

* * *

Alice stared at the ceiling, her eyes red and puffy. She hadn't slept at all last night. Every time she closed her eyes she pictured Rosalie with Jasper—having sex. It made her physically sick to think about. It's not like she didn't know that Jasper and Rosalie had been intimate, but ever since she'd been with Jasper, she never thought that they would continue to have sex.

She blinked fresh tears from her eyes, not even bothering to wipe them off her face. She let them roll onto her pillow. As much as she wanted to blame her heartbreak on the fact that Rosalie and Jasper were together last night, she was angry at herself. She was so stupid to even consider telling Jasper how she felt. What the hell had she been thinking?

She wasn't, that's the thing. She had just thrown caution to the wind and was willing to risk everything to tell him how she felt. It won't matter to Jasper how she feels—he'll still want to be with Rosalie. Why wouldn't he? She's gorgeous, successful, and loved by everyone. And Alice, she's…none of those things.

She sighed, rolling over onto her side, curling into herself. She had been seconds away from telling Jasper that she loved him. If she'd told him, he'd probably laugh and then go and fuck Rosalie to get Alice out of his mind.

She wanted to be angry at Jasper—to hate him for wanting to be with Rosalie instead of her. But she couldn't; she understood why he wanted her because everyone wanted her.

"Alice?" Emmett called from outside the door. When he got no response, he gently opened the door and glanced inside. He saw Alice lying there, her eyes staring at him. She had bags under her eyes and it looked like she hadn't slept at all. Her eyes were still swollen—he could see that from the doorway. He rushed in, closing the door behind him and sat on the bed by her. "Alice, what's wrong?"

She chuckled darkly, "I'm so stupid, Emmett."

He moved to rest against the headboard, looking at her intently. She was avoiding his gaze but he could see the liquid pooling in her eyes. "Alice…just talk to me. Tell me what happened."

She glanced at him, saw only care and concern in his eyes and broke. "I almost told him last night, Em. I called him—Jasper—and was going to tell him that I think I'm in love with him and don't want him to marry Rosalie. But then…right as I was about to tell him, Rosalie comes into the room and tells me that Jasper's going to be really busy soon and to just tell him what I wanted." She sniffed, wiping at her eyes.

Emmett pulled Alice into his arms, rubbing her back gently. "I'm sorry, Alice." He didn't really know what to say to her. How do you make someone feel better about this?

"It's just…I always tried not to think about their sex life because it hurt to know that Jasper was with her. But then, after we were together, I just assumed that they weren't…intimate anymore. But then, last night, I realized how that wasn't true." She sighed. "I just feel so…cast aside."

"Alice…I'm sure it's not like that. Jasper wouldn't just throw you aside like that—he cares about you too much ."

Alice shrugged. "I don't think so. I know I have no right to feel this way, but I do. I really care about him, Emmett, and I thought he might care about me. But after last night…I know that's not true."

Emmett shook his head. "Alice…he does care about you. We all can see that."

"Then why would he still be with Rosalie if he cared about me so much? That's what I don't understand," Alice told him.

Emmett was quiet for a few minutes, thinking about everything. "Maybe…maybe he's still with her because he thinks you don't want him?" he suggested quietly.

Alice pondered that for a minute. "I guess that makes sense. But why does he have to wait for me to tell him? Why can't he just tell me how he feels—if he even feels anything for me."

"Alice, he might be nervous to tell you. I mean, you haven't exactly been welcoming to him." Alice just looked at him. "You did all that pushing away with good intentions—you knew you two shouldn't have been together, so you tried to push it all away, push him away so he could be with Rosalie."

"I did. I didn't want to cause any more problems so I thought that pushing him away would help me get over him." She took a deep, shaky breath in. "It didn't."

Emmett held Alice tighter, trying to give her comfort. "You did the only thing you thought you could do. But Jasper might be seeing it as rejection—that you don't want anything to do with him."

"But why can't he take a chance on me? Why does it have to be me that makes the first move?" Alice complained.

Emmett chuckled. "Girls always think that they are the only ones who are insecure. Guys are just as insecure, if not more so. We worry that we're not enough for you all." He sighed. "Jasper might think he already tried to be with you and you rejected him then and now you're doing it again. Why would he risk himself, his heart a third time when the first two times failed him?"

Alice sighed, trying to think back to everything that's happened between them. She couldn't think of one time when Jasper asked her out or tried anything other than friendly gestures. "I don't think so, Em. He never tried anything in college—until Rosalie. He was all over her."

Emmett thought that Jasper might have only ever gone out with Rosalie to see how Alice responded and when Alice didn't care and thought they made a good couple, he continued to see her. He'd never told Alice that because he didn't know Jasper like she did. It could very well not even be true. Emmett thought it was wise to remain silent and let Alice work everything out for herself.

"Ugh…this is so not how I wanted my last day here to be like," she complained. She sat up, wiping at her face again, getting rid of any lingering tears. "Okay, enough wallowing. I'm going to go get ready for the day and then I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast or something. Deal?"

Emmett laughed and nodded. "Yeah, of course!" He hugged her before getting up. "See ya later, pix," he called over his shoulder as he continued out.

Alice smiled to herself as she gathered her things to get ready for the day. Emmett had got her rethinking things. Maybe he was right about Jasper's view on the whole situation?

She wouldn't be surprised. Emmett always has pretty good insight into things, but hardly ever uses it. He doesn't prefer to give advice to a lot of people; he saves it up for the people who matter to him—namely, Alice. He's more observant than people give him credit for. They tend to label him as a big moron of sorts. People think he's always oblivious to the world around him, but he never has been. He knows everything that goes on, he just doesn't prefer to act on that knowledge.

There's been many times when Alice has leaned on Emmett for advice and he understood the situation before she had fully explained it. She didn't think Esme and Carlisle knew how understanding their son was.

She glanced at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, all prior thoughts leaving her mind. Her eyes were bloodshot, red and puffy skin surrounded her eyes. There were bags under her eyes and he skin looked…old. Her hair was all over the place and added to her overall look of disaster. She looked horrible and hated that Jasper—a man—was the cause of all this.

But he's never just been any man. He'd always been more than that to her. He probably always would, but she should never have let anyone make her feel this way. She'd always been self sufficient and that shouldn't change just because she was a little hung up on a boy.

_That's it. I won't think about Jasper for the rest of my trip. _

She turned off her phone, just in case he called. That would help her not think about him. With her phone off, she returned to the bathroom to get ready. She pushed Jasper, Rosalie, and the entire situation out of her mind. She would enjoy the rest of her trip.

"_Hi! It's Alice! I'm not around to answer your call so leave a message!"_

Jasper snapped his phone shut, rubbing his pounding head. He'd been up over half the night thinking about Alice. What had she been about to tell him last night?

"How you doing, man?" Mike asked him, walking out of his bedroom.

"Alright." Mike had been really understanding about everything. He hadn't questioned Jasper when he showed up, just let him be. Jasper was really grateful that Mike hadn't questioned him too much because Jasper wasn't sure what he would tell him. _"I really don't care about Rosalie anymore and the only woman who's captured my heart wants nothing to do with me" _just didn't seem appropriate.

Mike just nodded and went into the kitchen. Jasper could hear him rummaging around in there, most likely looking for something to eat.

He looked back down at his phone, wishing he could get a hold of Alice. But every time he calls it goes straight to voicemail. He just wanted to talk to her, to see if there's any chance that she'd tell him what she had wanted to last night.

"Rosalie still not call you?" Mike questioned from the doorway. He'd seen Jasper staring at the phone.

"No, she called about a two dozen times, leaving a dozen threatening and angry messages." Jasper sighed, rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair. "I just don't want to talk to her right now."

"Okay, Japser. What's going on with you?" Mike asked sighing when Jasper shrugged. "You just show up here late in the night talking about how you don't want to be with Rosalie anymore. Then you just clam up and refuse to say anything else."

"What do you want to know, Mike? That I can't stand the sight of Rosalie? That I don't want to be trapped with her anymore?" Jasper laughed, a hollow sound. "I'm tired of being with her. I never actually wanted to be with her in the first place."

Mike glanced at him, surprised. "What? You always seemed so happy together?"

"It was just an act, Mike. I was never really happy with Rosalie. But I just never knew how to end it with her and now I'm trapped." He sighed. "I just don't know what to do."

Mike stared at the ground, silent for a minute as he gathered his thoughts. "Maybe, take a break from Rosalie. Stay here for a few days, try to clear your head and organize your thoughts and feelings. Maybe you'll want to start things up again with her, you know, try again. Or maybe you'll want to break it off."

Jasper nodded. "Yeah, I guess I could try that." He couldn't tell Mike that he knew he wouldn't want Rosalie back because he was desperately, hopelessly in love with Alice. "Are you sure you don't mind if I crash here for a few days?"

"Of course not. I know what it's like to be completely confused over a woman. Take Alice, for example. She's hot, successful, and funny. But I get the feeling like she's not completely into me." He sighed.

"What do you mean?" Jasper said through clenched teeth, just barely keeping his jealousy in check.

"I know she had a good time with me—you can't fake that, but I got the impression that there's someone else on her mind."

Jasper couldn't help the hope that bubbled within him. "How did you get that impression?"

Mike shrugged. "I don't know. Like when she'd look at me, it felt like she was picturing someone else. Or when I held her hand, she'd freeze for a second before relaxing. It's just little things like that. Maybe it was just first date jitters. We're going out again this weekend, so we'll see how it goes."

"Where are you taking her? What are you going to do?" Jasper questioned, praying he would take her some where Alice would absolutely hate.

Mike smiled. "Well, I'm going to take her to that dance club—I think it's called Lightening Bolt, or something like that. I feel like it's something she'd like to do…and I'd get to hold her all night. And dance with her," he added with a wink.

Jasper knew how Mike preferred to dance with women and he couldn't control his jealously. He could just see Mike gyrating against Alice, Alice's head leaned back onto his shoulder—his hands all over her. He shook his head, trying desperately to clear the images from his head. "That sounds like something she'd like. I'm going to go and take a shower."

He stood up and practically ran to the bathroom. The images of Alice and Mike ravaging his mind. He saw them leaving the club together and going back to her apartment. He could clearly see the way he would kiss her, him sliding off her dress—much like the way Jasper had the night he was with Alice.

He slammed his hands on the counter, angry that Alice would be willing to go out with Mike, _Mike_ of all people. He was Jasper best friend. Even though Alice had only been with Jasper once, how could she turn around and go out with Mike?

_Maybe she's doing the same thing you did with Rosalie._

The thought hit him like a brick wall. Maybe she was trying to get over him or try to make him jealous. Well, that was working for sure. He was so jealous, he couldn't even see straight.

But he'd done the same thing with Rosalie, hadn't he. Alice hadn't agreed with or noticed any of his advances and Rosalie wouldn't stop calling him. He eventually gave into her, agreeing to go out with her. But then Alice had been so supportive of their relationship—even helped him plan their next date. It really killed him to know that Alice hadn't even been slightly interested in him because if she had, she wouldn't have liked that Jasper was going out with Rosalie.

He'd hoped that Alice would react…well, like the way he was now. He chuckled at the irony of the situation. He'd wanted Alice to care enough about him to not want to share him with Rosalie, but she hadn't.

He grabbed his phone, dialing her number. He needed to know what she was going to tell him last night. He needed to know if she wanted him to take a chance. He would drop everything for her if that's what she wanted. He always thought she wanted him to be with Rosalie, so he stayed with her.

He swore when her machine answered without even ringing. She was probably avoiding him. "Hey, Ali…it's Jasper. I was just wondering if you wanted to talk tonight. I know we were supposed to last night but then Rosalie interrupted…I was angry too. Please…don't be upset with me. Nothing happened—I swear nothing happened with her." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Just…call me back. Please."

He slammed his phone down onto the counter, glaring at it. He knew it wasn't _its_ fault that Alice wasn't answering. He knew it was his own damn fault that Alice hated his guts now. If he'd only manned up years ago, things might be differently.

Maybe, if he left Rosalie—showed Alice that he was serious about being there for her, caring for her, she'd be willing to give him a second chance.

* * *

A/N: So...what did you think? Because I feel so guilty about not updating for a really long time...I am going to start on the next chapter right away and hope to have it posted within the week. As an apology to those of you who have stuck with me.


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